


A Christmas to Remember

by benjji2795



Series: Jonnor AUs [2]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Christmas, College AU, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4521486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjji2795/pseuds/benjji2795
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Yes I know it's August but inspiration is inspiration so I wrote this anyway)</p><p>Connor's dad kicks him out just days before Christmas when Connor comes out.  With nowhere to go and not wanting to spend Christmas alone, Connor turns to his roommate Jude, even though he doesn't know Jude all that well.  What will Jude say?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to a be seven part fic. I'm posting part one, and parts two and three are waiting in the wings; as I finish each part after that, I will post the next one. It's gonna be a slow mover, but I think you guys will enjoy this, there's a lot of cool things I'm going to do with it, so I'm really looking forward to hearing what you guys think. :)

_*10 Days Until Christmas*_

“Don’t bother coming home ever again!”

 

That was the last thing Connor’s dad had said to him before hanging up the phone.  It was a week and a half before Christmas and now he was on his own.  Exams would be over in three days and he didn’t have anywhere to go after.  Coming out to his dad had been an unmitigated disaster.  Not that Connor, in all honesty, had expected any different, but he had been holding on to a sliver of hope that maybe his dad wouldn’t totally hate his guts.

 

“Hey Connor, is everything alright?” Jude asked, noticing Connor’s blank, almost shocked expression as he walked into the room.  Jude and Connor weren’t particularly close, but that didn’t mean Jude didn’t care about Connor’s well-being.  If it looked like something was wrong with Connor, he was going to find out, so he could help him as best as he could.

 

“I uh—not really Jude.” Connor said quietly, breaking his staring contest with the wall and lowering his head to stare at his feet instead.

 

“You mind telling me what happened then?” Jude said, pulling up a chair to sit down next to Connor.  Connor just started shaking gently, tears falling from his eyelashes onto his shoes.  Jude placed his hand on Connor’s back, rubbing small circles, trying to comfort his roommate.

 

“My dad—“ Connor choked out.  “Told me not—not to come home—because I’m—I’m gay.” he blubbered before beginning to bawl.  Jude grabbed Connor’s hand, gently squeezing it.

 

“Connor, I’m so sorry.” Jude said, trying to comfort Connor, surprised to find out that his roommate was gay.  Not that Jude cared (he had two moms for heaven’s sake), it was just that Connor outwardly didn’t strike him as gay, though he supposed that was because all he had to go off of were stereotypes that he didn't think would fit Connor in a million years.  They sat there for a few moments while Connor cried, Jude continuing to hold Connor’s hand and rub his back.

 

“So who else in your family can, I guess, sort of take care of you now that your dad’s kicked you out?” Jude asked when Connor had calmed down a little.

 

“My dad was the only family I had, Jude.  I don’t have any siblings, I don’t know where my mom is, my grandparents are dead and my dad was an only child so I don’t have any aunts or uncles.” Connor answered, still sniffling heavily.  Jude’s heart sank.  So Connor was all on his own now.  Jude knew that even though Connor was eighteen, he was still going to need a lot of support from someone, Jude just didn’t know from whom.  Jude sat there, thinking for a moment, before the light bulb went off in his head.

 

“I—uh look, I’ve got to ask first, but um, maybe you could come home with me?  You know, so you’re not spending Christmas all by yourself.” Jude suggested nervously.

 

“Really Jude?” Connor said, looking up, eyes shimmering with hope.

 

“Yeah, let me call my moms and see.  I’ll be right back.”  Jude replied, patting Connor on the back as he stood up and walked over to the bedroom to call.

 

“Hey love, what’s up?” his mom, Stef, answered.

 

“Um, mom, so I was wondering something.  My roommate’s dad just uh, kicked him out I guess because he’s gay and he doesn’t have any other family, so I was um, wondering if it would be okay if he came home with me?  So he’s not alone.” Jude said anxiously, wondering why he was suddenly so worried about Connor.

 

“Absolutely love.  We would love to have him join us for Christmas.” his mom said, voice tinged with a little sadness, obviously upset that someone would kick out their child for who they are.

 

“Alright thanks mom.  See you in a couple days.” Jude chirped happily, hanging up the phone.  He was really glad his mom said yes.  He and Connor may not have been close, but he did not want Connor to be all by himself on Christmas.  That was a pretty awful thing for anyone to go through.  And, hopefully his moms might take Connor under their wing as kind of another member of the family.  Connor didn’t need to go through this without a family, and Jude’s family would be more willing than most to make him a part of theirs.

 

“Hey Connor, my moms said yes.” Jude said as he walked back out to where Connor was sitting, still staring at the ground.  Connor’s head shot up and he immediately jumped up, nearly tackling Jude with a hug.

 

“Thank you so much Jude!” Connor exclaimed, before backing off suddenly, making Jude feel a little—empty?  There was something about that hug that made Jude really happy.  It was so warm and firm and it kind of made him feel all—Jude shook his head, trying to snap himself out of those thoughts.  Connor wasn’t even a friend, just an acquaintance, so why did that hug make him feel like that?  He was puzzled over this, but then he noticed Connor standing there, just looking at him and biting his lip nervously.

 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have just hugged you like that I was just—“

“No Connor its fine.  I uh…” Jude said, losing his train of thought for a moment as he met Connor’s eyes.  “I understand how emotional all of this must be.” he said finally, hoping that Connor didn’t notice the long pause he took while trying to remember was he was going to say.

 

“Really Jude, thank you.  You’re a really good um, I guess this probably makes us friends huh?” Connor said, giving Jude a sincere smile that Jude was sure made his heart melt a little.

 

“I um, need to go study.  You know, for exams.  See you later Connor.” Jude spluttered, turning and walking out the door as fast as he could.

 

“Okay, see you Jude.” Connor called out after him, before turning and sitting back down.  He was going to be spending two weeks with Jude and his family.  When Jude had offered, he had jumped at the chance, but now he wasn’t so sure that was a great idea.  He always felt so shy and awkward around Jude because well, Connor thought he was really cute.  That’s why they weren’t friends; because Connor was always too nervous to really talk to Jude.  Jude was going to be the only person he was going to see that he sort of knew for the next two and a half weeks, so he was going to have to get over that fast or else this break was going to be really uncomfortable.  

 

Jude on the other hand didn’t regret inviting Connor to come with him, but was rather just really confused about what he was feeling.  They were all things he’d never felt before: the overwhelming feeling of concern towards Connor when he was sitting there crying, the way his hand tingled when he grabbed Connor’s, the warmth he felt in his chest when Connor hugged him, the way his heart started beating faster when he saw Connor bite his lip, it was all new.  Jude had no idea what it meant, but he didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on it now, because it was exam time.  So he pushed the thoughts to the side and turned his focus to exams, deciding to deal with these feelings later.

 

_*7 Days Until Christmas*_

“You ready to go Connor?” Jude shouted from the living room, his backpack on his back and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

 

“Yeah.” Connor grunted, backpack also on his back and dragging a large rolling suitcase behind him.

 

“You do know that my moms can do laundry?  You don’t have to bring your entire wardrobe.” Jude commented, chuckling.

 

“And limit my outfit choices?  I don’t think so Jude.” Connor replied seriously, glaring at Jude who just laughed harder.

 

“Look at you, turning into the stereotypical homosexual already!” Jude declared.

 

“Oh whatever.” Connor mumbled, shuffling over to the door.

 

“I mean that as a good thing Connor.” Jude explained quickly, since Connor seemed pretty offended and upset by the comment.  “It’s a sign that you’re getting comfortable with yourself.” he continued, walking over and giving Connor a gentle pat on the back.

 

“I _am_ comfortable with myself!” Connor protested.  “Or at least I was.” he added sadly.

 

“Connor, look at me!” Jude said sternly, knowing exactly where Connor’s self-doubt was coming from.  “Nothing your dad said about you was true.  None of it!  You hear me?”  Connor looked up at Jude, his eyes glistening.

 

“You don’t even know what he said to me,” he argued feebly.

 

“Connor, I have two moms.  I’ve heard a lot said about them behind their backs and even to their faces.  I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of the kinds of things he said,” Jude countered.

 

“Are—are you sure they’re not true?”

 

“One hundred percent, Connor.  Now let’s go.” Jude assured, putting his arm around Connor’s shoulders and ushering him out of the room to his car.  They quickly loaded their things into the back seat of Jude’s sedan, before getting into the front to get on the road.

 

“Get comfortable Connor,” Jude told Connor as he climbed into the passenger’s seat.  “The ride is six hours.”  Connor groaned.

 

“I hate long car rides,” he complained.

 

“You want to stay here?” Jude questioned jokingly.

 

“No thanks!” Connor quickly replied.

 

“So, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, you know, since we’re spending the next two and a half weeks together and right now, we don’t really know each other?” Jude said, putting the car into gear and easing out of his parking spot.

 

“Oh I uh,” Connor stuttered, suddenly feeling very nervous and struggling to come up with things about himself to tell Jude.  “I play baseball.  And I’m um, I’m a business major.”

 

Jude glanced over at Connor, noticing his blank expression and his suddenly pale complexion.  _He’s super nervous_ , Jude thought, _that’s so cute.  Wait, did I just say he was cute?_

 

“Well I suppose those are important things about you, despite the fact that they’re not overwhelmingly interesting.” Jude said chuckling, pushing his thoughts about Connor’s “cuteness” to the side.  “Tell me more about baseball, like what position do you play, or what kind of numbers do you have?” he asked, though he knew nothing about baseball and wouldn’t understand anything Connor was going to say.

 

“I’m a catcher.  I was a .330 career hitter in high school and I hit 23 home runs my senior year in 32 games.” Connor answered confidently, sounding a less nervous.  “What about you?”

 

“Are you asking me what kind of baseball numbers I have Connor?” Jude replied, still chuckling softly.  “I don’t play baseball.”

 

“Oh shit, no I wasn’t.  I was um, asking for you to uh, tell me a bit about yourself.” Connor spluttered, suddenly sounding very nervous again.

 

“Well I guess I probably should start with my family then.” Jude said, momentarily forgetting why Connor was with him, taking a deep breath and launching into his by-now-memorized spiel.  “My birth mom died when I was six because of a drunk-driving accident when my dad was behind the wheel and so he went to jail.  My sister Callie and I didn’t have any other family, so we went into foster care.  We were in seven homes in six years before Stef and Lena took us in when I was twelve.  They adopted me when I was thirteen, and well, Callie never got adopted but she lived with us until she aged out of the system, so she is, for all intents and purposes, part of the family.  And I have three other siblings, Brandon, Mariana and Jesus, and one sort of sibling AJ.  It’s a long story but AJ stayed with us for a while before he was adopted by Mike, Stef’s ex-husband who’s basically part of the family too.”  Connor just stared at him, mouth hanging open.

 

“Wow you have a big family.” he said quietly, contemplating about how he didn’t have a family anymore.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry I shouldn’t be going on about my family right now.” Jude replied softly.

 

“No Jude, its fine.”  They sat in silence for a few minutes after that.  “So, you told me about your family, but not really about you.” Connor commented.

 

“It’s not like there’s much interesting about me.  I’m a creative writing major who watches too much Netflix and is obsessed with _Star Wars_.  I don’t know what else to tell you.  Besides, it’s not like you told me too many interesting things about yourself, Connor,” Jude answered.

 

“Can I like ask you questions?  You know, to find out more about you, since we both suck at just talking about ourselves.”

 

“Okay, but any questions you about me ask you have to answer too.  And I get to ask some questions too.” Jude said.  Connor nodded to say that he accepted Jude’s terms.  Connor went silent again, twiddling his thumbs nervously for a few moments.

 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” was the first question Connor blurted out.  Jude burst out laughing.

 

“That’s kind of a forward question don’t you think Connor?”

 

“Oh! Uh, that’s not what I—not really I just,” Connor stammered, his head pointed straight down, looking at his lap.

 

“Relax, Connor.  I’m just teasing you.  No I’m not dating anyone, but for the record, if I was dating I’d probably have a boyfriend, not a girlfriend.” Jude explained, not sure why he felt the need to specify.

 

“Oh okay, um that’s cool.” Connor mumbled.  Connor got flustered so easily, it was positively adorkable Jude thought.

 

“So what about you, Connor?  You dating anyone?” Jude prodded, figuring that Connor had probably forgotten about their deal.

 

“No.  I mean I had this thing with a guy for a couple of days a month or so ago but nothing since then.” Connor answered.  And Jude felt relieved, which surprised him.  Why did it matter if Connor was dating anyone, and why would he feel relieved that he wasn’t?  But as with pretty everything that related to Connor so far, he ignored the feeling, shoving it to the back of his mind.  But even so, he _was_ curious because ‘having a thing’ could have a wide variety of meanings.

 

“What do you mean _thing_?” Jude pressed.

 

“We had sex a couple times, but we didn’t really hang out or talk or anything like that.” Connor shrugged.

 

“So then you’ve never actually dated a guy before?”

 

“No.” Connor answered, sounding to Jude like Connor was ashamed that he hadn’t.

 

“I mean that’s not like a bad thing.  I haven’t dated before either.” Jude admitted.

 

“That’s surprising.” Connor commented.  “Someone like you should have hundreds of guys and girls tripping over themselves to ask you out.”

 

“Are you saying that you think I’m hot, Connor Stevens?” Jude asked, not sure if Connor actually thought he was hot or just that other people thought he was.  Connor nodded, staring straight ahead, his face turning a dark shade of purple. Jude also felt himself turning red, butterflies swirling around in his stomach.

 

“Well, um, I think you’re uh,” Jude added, swallowing hard, “really cute.”  Jude’s breath caught in his throat; this was a big deal to him.  Before now, he swore that he never found anyone cute in his life, guy or girl, and yet here he was, saying that Connor Stevens was really cute, and it was completely true.  And on top of that, Connor thought that he, Jude Adams-Foster was hot.  His mind was racing now, trying to process all these new feelings, and he couldn’t focus on the road.

 

“Hey Connor, want to drive for a little bit?” Jude said, his throat feeling dry.

 

“Sure.” Connor replied.  So Jude pulled off, quickly getting out and switching spots with Connor.  He needed some time to think.  He muttered some directions to Connor before grabbing a pillow and burying his face into it.

 

“You okay Jude?”  Jude gave Connor a thumbs up.

 

“Nudge me in two hours and I’ll drive the rest of the way after that.” Jude said, not removing the pillow from his face.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

“Jude!” Connor shouted, rousing Jude from his deep slumber and interrupting a really good dream.  A dream involving Connor where—where he was cuddling with him and kissing him?  Jude groaned.  This was not good.  Somehow in a matter of hours he suddenly had a full blown crush on Connor, which was going to be especially awkward since he was spending the next two and a half weeks with Connor.  “You said to wake you up in two hours, and well it’s been two hours.” Connor continued.

 

“Oh, thanks.” Jude muttered, not looking over at Connor, and stepping out of the car to get behind the wheel again.

 

“So what was that dream all about?” Connor asked once they were on the road again.  “You were mumbling all kinds of things into your pillow and I couldn’t make out what you were saying but it seemed like a pretty good dream.”

 

“Oh, um, I don’t remember what it was about now.” Jude lied.

 

“Do you always talk in your sleep?”  Jude groaned again.  He and Connor were likely going to be sharing his old room, he was a sleep talker and he was having dreams about Connor.  This was likely going to be an utter disaster.

 

“Yeah.” Jude murmured in reply.

 

“Oh, well my d—well I’ve heard that I do that too.” Connor said as they pulled off the highway and onto a quiet side street.  “So this is the neighborhood where you live?”  Jude nodded.

 

“My house is right here in fact.” he said, pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park.  “You ready to be mobbed for the next two and a half weeks?” Jude asked chuckling.  Connor shook his head.  “Well ready or not, here they come.” Jude said as the front door opened.

 

“Were you just staring out the window waiting for us to pull up?” Jude yelled jokingly, getting out of the car as his moms walked across the lawn to meet them.

 

“Maybe.” Stef said with a smirk.

 

“We just missed you a lot bud.” Lena added, as they grabbed Jude, smushing him into a hug.  Connor awkwardly stood off to the side, grinning slightly at the scene in front of him.  “And this must be Connor.” she added as they released Jude.  Connor extended his hand, expecting them to shake it, but instead was engulfed in a hug similar to the one Jude received.

 

“How are you doing love?” Stef asked softly.

 

“Better now.” Connor answered, relaxing into the hug, not caring that they were basically strangers to him.  Jude smiled; this was why he loved his moms so much, they had such big hearts.  The only things they knew about Connor were his name and his situation, and yet they already treated him as if he’d been part of the family for years.  But he was also smiling because Connor was smiling, bigger than any smile Jude had seen on his face since the day his dad kicked him out.

 

“Well, come on, get your stuff inside, you two are just in time for dinner!” Lena exclaimed, both of them stepping away and heading back inside the house.

 

“I hope that surprise hug wasn’t too awkward.” Jude said as they pulled their backpacks and suitcases (well Jude’s duffel bag and Connor’s suitcase) from the back seat.

 

“No, it was fine.  Really nice actually.” Connor said quietly as they walked up the front porch steps and into the house.

 

“Connor you’ll be sleeping with Jude and Jesus in their room, so go ahead and follow Jude to drop your things off up there and then come back down.” Stef called from the kitchen.

 

“They’re putting three of us in one room?” Connor asked, surprised.

 

“It’s a big family, remember?” Jude chuckled, opening the door and tossing his things on the floor.  Connor did the same, momentarily stepping into the room and glancing around.  The room was fairly small, separated into halves by an intricately designed bookshelf.  The walls were painted blue and sparsely decorated in the half closest to the door, and the room had two beds and two desks.

 

“This is my half of the room.” Jude said, noticing how Connor seemed to be studying it intently.  “It’s not really decorated because I took a lot my stuff with me to college.” 

 

“Yeah, I took most of my stuff with me too.  It’s a good thing I guess.” Connor replied.

 

“I know I’ve probably said this about one hundred thousand times so far, but I’m really sorry about what happened with you dad.” Jude said, pulling in Connor and hugging him.

 

“I’m okay Jude, really.  Sure it sucks, but I’m here so I’m not alone.” Connor insisted, smiling at Jude (though it wasn’t a true smile; Jude could tell he was missing the glint in his eye that his smiles usually had).  They stood there hugging for a long time, tightly pressed up to each other, but not feeling particularly awkward.  It was just a hug of support, right?

 

“Awww, look at you two.” Lena commented as she stood in the doorway.  Jude and Connor flew apart, Jude nervously shoving his hands in his pockets and Connor beginning to play with his hands anxiously.  Sensing that she may have made them feel weird, she quickly turned around, calling over her shoulder “Dinner’s ready!”  Connor shot out of the room and down the stairs, leaving Jude all by himself for a moment before he too walked out and down the stairs for dinner.

 

 

“Well Connor, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?” he heard Lena asking as he walked into the kitchen where they were already seated and beginning to eat.  Jude had to stifle a giggle, remembering just how badly Connor reacted when _he_ had asked him the same question.  Connor noticed his reaction, glaring at him, before turning to his moms and answering.

 

“Well I’m at UCLA on a baseball scholarship, I’m the team’s catcher and I’m studying business.” Connor said calmly and confidently before turning to give Jude a look that said “Ha!  Take that!”

 

“Oh that’s interesting love.” Stef replied coolly.  “What about friends?  Are you seeing anyone?”  Jude spit out his drink, laughing at his mom because she was _so_ obviously trying to see if they could set the two of them up.  Connor’s eyebrows quirked up as he looked over curiously at Jude.

 

“Mom, could you please be a _little_ more obvious about what you’re doing?” Jude asked sarcastically once he stopped choking on his milk.

 

“What am I doing?” she responded, faking innocence.

 

“Trying to find out if Connor is single you can spend the next two and a half weeks trying to set us up,” Jude stated, still giggling slightly, while Connor was staring at his plate, turning a deep shade of purple.

 

“From what I’ve already heard we don’t have to give you guys too much help.” Stef shot back.

 

“Connor was literally ten seconds behind you how did you tell her already?!” Jude said turning to his mama.

 

“We don’t need words to talk.  I thought you figured that out by now.” Lena said smirking.

 

“I literally cannot believe the two of you.” Jude answered shaking his head.

 

“Well I suppose he doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to.” Lena said, turning to look at Connor.

 

“Yeah I’m single, but I’m not really looking to date anyone right now.” he muttered, not looking up from his plate.

 

“We completely understand love.” Stef replied, though she was still grinning mischievously at Lena.

 

 

“So you don’t want to date?” Jude asked cautiously as the two of them went up to his room after dinner, not sure why he was feeling so disappointed.

 

“I mean yeah.  So far you, your moms, the guy I dated for a bit and I guess my dad are the only people that know.  And with all that’s happened with my dad, I kinda just want to keep it that way for a while.  I mean I’ll tell the rest of your family, but that’s because they won’t be negative about it.  Dealing with my dad kicking me out is hard enough without having to worry about what other people will say about me, you know?”

 

“I-I understand Connor.  And um—I’ll always have your back, okay?” Jude replied.

 

“Thanks Jude.” Connor said smiling.  “So what are we going to do the rest of the night?”

 

“If I had to guess, my moms are probably going to try to get us to watch some movie with them.” Jude shrugged.  “Probably one of the Star Wars movies because they know I wouldn’t miss a chance to watch one of them.”

 

“Hey Jude!  You wanna watch _The Empire Strikes Back_ tonight?” Stef called up from the base of the steps, almost as if on cue.

 

“Are you psychic?” Connor asked, chortling.

 

“No, you just get to know people when you live with them for a long time.” Jude replied with a crooked grin, getting up and walking past Connor towards the door.  “Want to join us?”

 

“Sure, why not?  It’s not like I have anything else to do.” Connor answered, shuffling out behind Jude.

 

Jude rolled his eyes when they reached the living room.  His moms had sprawled out, taking up the whole couch and leaving the so-called “loveseat” for them to sit on.  Jude’s moms just smiled at Jude while he gave them his patented “bitch face” and Connor just giggled.

 

They sat down, being careful to sit as far away from each other as possible.  Jude could’ve sworn he saw his mom roll her eyes, but he decided not to call her out on it and settled in to watch the movie.

 

Part way through, Jude felt a hand brush up against his and someone start to lean against his side.  He turned to see that he and Connor had both been migrating towards the middle of the loveseat, so that they were now sitting very close to each other.  Connor in fact had started to drift off to sleep and was leaning up against Jude, his head coming to rest on Jude’s shoulder.  Jude smiled glancing down at the sleeping boy next to him, and without thinking, took his arm and wrapped it around him, hugging him tightly to his side.  Connor, in his sleep, reacted by snaking his arms around Jude and curling up into him.  Jude let him, not wanting to wake Connor up.

 

Jude sighed.  He was getting in way too deep with Connor already.  The hug, being disappointed that Connor didn’t want to date, and now his reaction to Connor cuddling him in his sleep all made it very clear to Jude that, even though he didn’t really know Connor and wasn’t exactly his friend, he really liked him.  But there was that catch; that Connor didn’t want to date, which meant that Jude had to keep his actions towards Connor friendly.  Jude couldn’t let Connor onto his feelings for him, or else things between them would get _really_ awkward over these next two and a half weeks.

 

“Jude, what are you doing?” Connor said groggily into his chest a little while later, tearing Jude from his thoughts.  Right, he needed to explain to Connor how this happened (and be sure to tell Connor that he made the first move).

 

“The better question is what were _you_ doing?” Jude replied.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You’re the one that cuddled me.”

 

“Oh, um sorry.” Connor said, stifling a yawn as he let go of Jude and shuffled away.

 

“It’s alright,” Jude said.  “I don’t mind.  But since you can’t stay awake you probably should head up.  No one in this house is gonna be able to carry you if you fall asleep down here.” he continued with a chuckle.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Connor said, letting another yawn escape his lips.  They stood up, walking past Jude’s moms who had fallen asleep curled up with each other and went upstairs into Jude’s room, Connor taking Jesus’ bed for the night.

 

“G’Night Connor.” Jude said, climbing into bed, kind of wishing that Connor was cuddling him like he was downstairs.  Connor didn’t reply, already out like a light, snoring gently.  Jude rolled over, bunching up his blanket and cuddling with it, trying not to think about how much he wished it was Connor instead.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay since I'm about halfway through part 4, I've decided to post part 2 for y'all, cause I know a bunch of people are anxious to see what happens next :)

_*6 Days Until Christmas*_

“Oi! Who’s this kid in my bed?” Jesus exclaimed, jolting Jude awake.  Jude reached over to his nightstand, grabbing his phone and checking the time. 11:45 AM!  He groaned; why did his moms let them sleep in that late? He wanted to be awake to deal with his siblings’ arrival.

 

“That’s Connor,” Jude explained, realizing Jesus was still waiting for an answer, his voice low and thick from sleep.

 

“Is he like your boyfriend or something?”

 

“If he was my boyfriend do you think I’d be in bed by myself?” Jude snapped sarcastically. “He’s my roommate.”

 

“Then why is he here?” Jesus asked curiously.  Jude’s roommate just came home with him?  That didn’t make any sense to Jesus.

 

“It’s not my business to tell you.”

 

“Whatever Jude, just tell him I don’t care as long as it shuts him up.” Connor mumbled into the pillow.

 

“He’s here because he had nowhere else to go for Christmas.  His dad kicked him out, alright Jesus?  Now leave it, get out of here and let us get up!” Jude said, rolling out of bed and shoving Jesus out the door.

 

“Well, the rest of my family must be here.” Jude commented, walking over to Connor who still had his face buried in his (well Jesus’) pillow. 

 

“Mmm,” Connor said into the pillow.

 

“You’re not going to get anymore sleep, I guarantee it, so you might as well get out of bed,” Jude laughed.

 

“Hey Judicorn!” Mariana exclaimed, barging into the room (even though the door was closed and latched) and embracing Jude tightly.

 

“Heh, Judicorn?” Connor sniggered, lifting his head from his pillow to look at Jude.

 

“I swear to God, Connor if you ever call me that it will have your head,” Jude shot back, glaring at him.

 

“Who is that?” Mariana asked nervously, taking a step back from Connor.

 

“That’s Connor, my roommate.” Jude explained.

 

“You mean like your boyfriend?” Mariana said, stepping back forward, smirking and waggling her eyebrows at Jude.

 

“He is not my boyfriend! He’s just my roommate!” Jude protested.

 

“Then why is he here?”

 

“His dad kicked him out so he needed somewhere to be on Christmas.” Jude explained, _again_.

 

“Hey Jude! Wait, who is that?” Callie asked, walking into the room over to where they were standing.

 

“Okay that’s it, everyone needs to get out!  I will tell you all about Connor later but right now you need to leave so we can get ready!” Jude shouted, shoving his sisters out the door and closing it behind them. He leaned up against the door breathing heavily.  “See what I meant about being mobbed?”

 

“Yeah, I think so,” Connor said, standing up, revealing that he had slept in just his boxers. Jude stared for a moment, taking in Connor’s well defined abs and chest muscles, feeling a strange stirring in his stomach.  Connor noticed him and he quickly spun around, averting his gaze.  He was _not_ supposed to be _this_ attracted to Connor, especially since he was trying to keep that fact that he liked Connor a secret.

 

“Trust me, you’re not the first person to stare.” Connor said casually, causing Jude to blush furiously. “Even a lot of the guys on the baseball team do it.  They’re all really jealous cause I’m the most ripped guy on the team,” he continued. “It’s safe to turn around now.”

 

Jude turned back around, his cheeks still very pink, and found that in all honesty, it really probably wasn’t ever going to be safe to turn around.  Connor was wearing a tight-fitting tank top and black skinny jeans, both items of clothing still showing off Connor’s muscles as if he wasn’t really wearing anything.  That combined with Connor’s messy hair and low, sleepy voice made Jude want to jump Connor and kiss him right there and then.  But Connor’s voice stopped him in his tracks (seriously, he was about to do it).

 

“Dude! You board?” he asked, picking up a skateboard that was lying on the floor.

 

“Kinda...actually, I mean I can stay upright on a skateboard if that’s what you're saying,” Jude shrugged, trying to shake off that he literally was about to kiss Connor.

 

“You want to go to a skate park today?” Connor asked excitedly.  Jude looked at him, studying his expression.  _Funny_ , he thought, _Connor reminds me a little bit of a puppy_. No doubt if Connor had a tail, he’d be wagging it right now.  Looking at his face and seeing how excited he was, Jude couldn’t say no, even though it probably meant an afternoon of embarrassing himself in front of Connor.

 

“Yeah absolutely! Now come on," Jude sighed, motioning for Connor to follow him, "I need to introduce you to my family.”

* * *

“Okay since now that everyone is here, it’s time for me to answer the one question that I’m sure you all have.” Jude said, surveying the living room where Stef, Lena, Brandon, Jesus, Mariana, Callie, AJ and Mike were all sitting.  “This here is Connor, my roommate.  Let me be clear, he is _not_ my boyfriend, he is here because—well I’ll let him tell you.” he continued, grabbing Connor’s shoulder and squeezing it gently as a sign of support.

 

“I’m um here because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.  My dad kicked me out because—because I’m gay.” Connor said quietly.

 

“Well obviously,” Jesus said. The whole room turned to shush him. “Hey!  I’m just saying, have none of y’all seen what he’s wearing?” he protested.

 

“Y’all? Since when do you say y’all?” Mariana asked him curiously.

 

“Since I had a roommate from the Deep South okay, so leave me be,” Jesus spat.

 

“Um, one thing you should know about Jesus, he always says what he’s thinking.  There’s no filter.” Jude whispered over his sibling’s argument, leaning into Connor’s ear.  Connor laughed quietly.

 

“Thanks for the warning.” he whispered back sarcastically, since that was already obvious, between Jesus' comments when he burst into their room, and then now.

 

“It’s hard to warn you about everything so I figured I might as well just tell you as things happen,” Jude explained.

 

“Okay, so let me give you their names from left to right.  AJ, Mike, Jesus, Brandon, Mariana, Callie and of course, my moms.” Jude continued, a little louder, pointing to each person as he said their name.

 

“So, Connor, are you single?” Mariana asked once he was finished, earning a groan from Jude.

 

“First moms, now you?” Jude grumbled, turning to Connor.  “I’m starting to think that I would’ve been better off staying with you at school instead of bringing you here.  I think all they’re going to do is spend the whole break trying to get us together,” Connor just laughed again, and Jude couldn’t understand how all of this was so funny to him, because to Jude, it was downright embarrassing.

 

“You know you love us.” Callie interjected.

 

“Yeah sure no the only person I love in this room right now is Connor cause he’s the only one not embarrassing me!” Jude exclaimed, causing the whole room to go silent. “Oh I-I um d-didn’t mean it like that!” he added quickly, turning to Connor who was doubled over, laughing so hard he wasn’t making any sound.

 

“This is literally the best entertainment I’ve had in a while, oh my god I love your family Jude!” Connor exclaimed when he finally stopped laughing.  While hearing that didn’t stop Jude from being embarrassed, hearing Connor laugh and be happy was enough to convince Jude to let it go. He wanted Connor to be happy after all he’d recently gone through, and he supposed that any way he was helping add to Connor’s happiness wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t deal with it.

 

“Alright, so now that we have everyone here, I think now is as good a time as any to draw names for the Secret Santa,” Lena said, standing up and moving to stand next to Jude and Connor, who were still standing in the middle of the room. “There is going to be one exception, since Connor only really knows Jude out of the people here, and since Jude is really the only one that knows Connor, you two have each other’s names, okay?”

 

“Doesn’t that defeat the point of ‘Secret Santa’?” Callie commented.

 

“Would you know what to get Connor?” Lena asked her.  Callie shook her head.  “That’s what I thought.”

 

Jude sighed. Sure he knew Connor better than his family did, but by no means did he know what kind of gift to get Connor. Maybe he could delay buying the gift for as long as possible, so that way he would have a better idea of the things Connor liked and could get him the best possible gift.

 

“I’m pretty sure I already know what I’m getting you,” Connor whispered.  He sounded serious, which made Jude turn and look at him confused. But Connor had already turned back to face the front of the room, staring forward innocently. How did Connor already know what to get him?!

 

He didn’t have much time to think on that any further, because the family meeting broke up and Connor had grabbed his hand and was pulling him out of the living room.

 

“L-let’s g-go now,” Connor suggested, dropping Jude’s hand suddenly and trudging up the stairs.

 

“I uh,” Jude stuttered, suddenly very confused.  Connor grabbed his hand?  That might not have been too bizarre, but then Connor had very suddenly let go and got all stutter-y and nervous.

 

“Please?” Connor pleaded, his voice returning to normal and giving Jude puppy dog eyes. Jude looked at Connor, seeing those eyes and knowing that he was, a gonner, that he was going to say yes.  He wasn’t sure that it was even possible to say no to those eyes. Jude walked past Connor into his room, grabbing two boards before stepping back out, handing one to Connor and walking down the stairs, Connor bounding after him.

 

“Connor and I are going to the skate park,” Jude called out over his shoulder as he walked out. As soon as they were on the driveway, Connor sprinted past him, putting the board down and pushing off, quickly rolling down the driveway.

 

“How come I’ve never seen a skateboard in our room?  You seem like you’re pretty good,” Jude commented when he caught up with Connor.

 

“Oh, I don’t have a board of my own at school.  Mine is at my dad’s, and I forgot to bring it,” Connor replied.  “I just usually borrow somebody else’s.”  Connor picked the skateboard back up and Jude grinned.  Well now he knew exactly what he was getting Connor.

* * *

 

“Hey Jude! Check this out!” Connor called. They had been at the skate park for about an hour, and Jude had spent most of the time sitting on the edge of the bowl (thingy whatever they called it, Jude didn’t know for sure) just watching Connor.

 

“I’m already watching you, you dork!” Jude yelled back, chuckling at Connor.  Connor looked up, smiling at him broadly before pushing off to start up his trick.  He rolled around, coming around from the opposite end back towards Jude and picking up speed. Connor seemed to have made some kind of mistake though, because now he was heading right for where Jude was sitting.

 

“Uh, Connor?” Jude said as Connor kept getting closer and closer.  Connor didn’t say anything but he had his head up, so Jude assumed that he knew what he was doing.  He stayed sitting, not wanting to jump out of the way and look silly when Connor didn’t even come close to where he was.  Then it happened; Connor completely lost control, flying up over the side, landing flat on his feet next to Jude before toppling over onto him. “Ouch!” Jude exclaimed sharply. Connor didn’t say anything, groaning and clutching his leg instead.

 

“Connor, are you alright?” Jude asked concernedly.

 

“N-no,” Connor whimpered.

 

“O-okay well then can you roll off me and sit up?” Jude directed.  Connor did as Jude told him, wincing and letting out a sharp cry in pain when he tried to put weight on his right leg.

 

“Shit,” Jude muttered, helping Connor to sit down before pulling his phone out and dialing his mom.

 

“Something wrong love?” Stef answered.

 

“Yeah, we’re at the skate park and um, Connor wiped out and now he can’t put any weight on his right leg. I think he might have broke it.” Jude explained, rubbing slow circles in Connor’s back to try and make him feel better.

 

“Are you going to try and walk back or do you need one of us to pick you up?”

 

“Um, I don’t know,” Jude replied, turning to look at Connor.  “Do you think you can walk?”  Connor shook his head, and Jude put the phone back up to his ear.  “Okay, yeah we need to be picked up.”

 

“Okay love, we’ll be there in five,” Stef answered before hanging up the phone.

 

“Alright Connor,” Jude said, grabbing Connor’s arm and wrapping it around his shoulder. “Let’s get out to the gate to wait for my mom.”

 

Jude stood up, tightly grasping Connor’s arm, and with great effort, managed to get Connor to his feet. Connor leaned on him heavily, keeping his leg completely off the ground and using Jude as his other leg. Jude grunted, breathing heavily, and they began making their way across the park.

 

“Shouldn’t..have..tried..trick..sorry,” Connor moaned out once they were leaning on the fence next to the gate, tears pricking his eyes from the pain.

 

“It’s fine Connor, don’t worry about it,” Jude assured him.  Just then Stef pulled up, jumping out and opening a door before walking over to help Jude get Connor to the car.

 

“What happened?” she asked once they were on the road, going into full mom mode while driving them to the emergency room.

 

“Well Connor was doing this trick and he must have messed up, because all of the sudden he went flying off the side a couple feet in the air before landing on his feet and falling over onto me,” Jude told her, still rubbing Connor’s back.

 

“And Connor, is it your upper leg or lower leg that hurts?” Stef inquired.

 

“Lower!” Connor squawked as they went over a bump, jostling his leg.

 

“Okay, okay we’re here now!” Stef said trying to comfort Connor.  Gingerly, Jude and Stef lifted Connor up, carrying him into the waiting room.

 

“What seems to be the problem ma’am?” the receptionist asked them as they walked in.

 

“He needs x-rays, he likely broke his right leg in a skating accident,” Stef explained. Jude stayed quiet, more than happy to let his mom take charge, focusing his energy on keeping Connor calm.

 

“Okay, go ahead and sit him down on that wheelchair,” she replied, pointing to a chair a few feet away from them.  “A nurse will come out and be with you shortly.”

 

“It’s alright Connor, it’ll stop hurting soon, okay?” Jude cooed, squeezing Connor’s hand as they lowered him into the chair.  A short while later (though far too long if you asked Jude, given that Connor’s constant whimpering indicated he was in serious pain), a man came out and walked over to them.

 

“We’re going to take him back for x-rays now.  I need someone to come with me to help out,” he stated.

 

“I’ll go!” Jude exclaimed, springing up and moving to follow him.  There was no protest from Stef, so Jude followed Connor in.

 

 

It was about an hour later when the two of them re-appeared, Connor sporting a cast and using crutches.

 

“He definitely broke it,” Jude commented to his mom as the two of them hobbled (well Connor hobbled) over.  “The doctor said almost clean in half.  He’ll need to be in the cast for six weeks, and the doctor gave us these in case he needs them,” Jude finished, tossing a small bottle of painkillers to his mom.

 

“Alright then, well let’s get home,” she said, leading them out to the car.

 

“I guess this pretty much means I’m trapping you in the house all break,” Connor said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No worries Connor,” Jude replied.  “Besides, I’m finding that I have fun no matter what we’re doing.”  Jude looked over at Connor who just smiled at him, much to Jude’s relief.  He was worried that he might have revealed too much with his last statement.

 

“Lots of video games and movies it’ll be, I suppose,” Connor suggested, to which Jude nodded. After that the ride back to the Adams-Foster house was pretty quiet.  When they began walking in, Stef grabbed Jude, pulling him back for a second.

 

“So I take it you’re going to be the one to take care of him?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess so. It’s not like he’s really that comfortable with anyone else here,” Jude shrugged.

 

“Okay, well just let us know if you need any help.  Now you should probably go and do that, he seems to be having some trouble with the porch steps.” Jude turned to see Connor wildly flailing his crutches around, trying to get up the steps without having to put weight on his foot.  Chuckling to himself, Jude jogged over to where Connor was, just in time to reach Connor who had started falling backwards.

 

“Woah!” Jude exclaimed, quickly hooking his arms under Connor’s armpits trying to catch him, which wasn’t the smartest idea.  Connor was far too heavy for Jude to handle, and trying to catch Connor left them both splayed out on the pavement.  “You alright?” Jude asked, sitting up and rubbing his elbow which he had a minor scrape on.

 

“I’m fine, only a little embarrassed.  Just thought I could still get around on my own,” Connor muttered.

 

“Well it seems like besides the stairs, you were getting around just fine,” Jude commented, standing up, brushing himself off and offering Connor his hand to help him up. Connor grabbed it, and Jude pulled, getting Connor to his feet, but not before Connor had to drape himself all over Jude, throwing his arms over his shoulders and leaning heavily into him to gain his balance.  Jude could’ve sworn that Connor lingered for an extra few seconds once he steadied himself, but he brushed it off, attributing it to his imagination and the side of him that wanted Connor to be into him.

 

“Yeah, but your house has a lot of stairs,” Connor countered.

 

“Yeah…” Jude mused as he handed Connor back his crutches and helped him up the porch steps. Connor was right, and it wasn’t really going to be fair to ask him to sleep up in his room now, it was going to be too hard for him to get up the stairs.  They were both going to need to sleep downstairs (okay well only really Connor, but Jude wasn’t going to leave him alone; you know, just in case he needed help in the middle of the night), which meant Jude had to go figure out with his moms how to shuffle everyone around.  “Hey, Connor go sit on the couch for a minute, I need to talk to my moms.”

 

“Mom? Mama?” Jude called out as he wandered into the kitchen.

 

“Yeah bud?” Lena answered, coming around a corner into view.  “Hey, how’s Connor doing?”

 

“He’s fine, but that’s kind of what we need to talk about.”

 

“Sure, what’s going on?”

 

“We have to move people around because Connor can’t get up the stairs very well, so he and I need to be the ones sleeping downstairs,” Jude explained.

 

“Well I think that can be arranged, but why do you need to sleep downstairs with him?” Lena asked curiously.

 

“In case he needs help at night, you know?  It might be awkward for him being down there with Mike or AJ since he doesn’t know them. And I don’t want to leave him alone,” Jude admitted quietly, his cheeks showing a light dusting of pink.

 

“Okay,” Lena said, placing her hand on Jude’s shoulder and giving him a compassionate smile. “So then we’ll move Mike and AJ into your room and your mom and I will take back our bedroom so you and Connor can sleep downstairs.”

 

“Thanks mama,” Jude said, giving Lena a quick hug before walking out to the living room and plopping down on the couch next to Connor, who was doing something on his phone. Jude sat quietly for a minute, looking for the right words to explain the situation to Connor without making his insistence on sleeping downstairs with him sound weird.

 

“S’going on Jude?” Connor asked.  “You’ve been sitting here five minutes and you haven’t said a word.”

 

“O-oh not much, I was just thinking,” Jude replied.

 

“About what?” Connor pried. _Mostly about the fact that I really like you and I can’t say anything to you without thinking about that and making things weird for myself_ , Jude thought.

 

“Just sleeping arrangements. I think you and I are going to be staying down here instead.  You know so you don’t have to worry about going up and down the stairs.” he explained, obviously not going to tell Connor what he was thinking.

 

“Okay. But why are you sleeping down here, I mean you really don’t have to.  I’ll be okay on my own.”

 

“I-I mean you wouldn’t be on your own because Mike or AJ would be down here if I wasn’t. I just thought that you might be uncomfortable with that, y-you know cause you don’t know them,” Jude stumbled over his words.  This was exactly what he had hoped Connor wouldn’t ask him.  Connor eyed him suspiciously for a moment before shrugging.

 

“Mmk, that makes sense I guess,” he said, not sounding too sure, before looking back down at his phone. Jude stood up, striding up to his room to grab their stuff and bring it back down.  He didn’t make it all the way though, being dragged by Mariana into his sisters’ room.

 

“You totally like him,” she stated, closing the door behind her (but not completely; it was still cracked open slightly).

 

“I-I d-don’t know what y-you’re talking about!” Jude spluttered, trying to play dumb with the sister that could read his emotions like an open book (actually both of his sisters could read him like that).

 

“Alright, why don’t we try this again?” she muttered, shaking her head.  “You like Connor, don’t you?”  Jude sighed, walking over and sitting on Mariana’s bed.

 

“Am I really that obvious?” Jude wondered.

 

“Not really. I just happen to be your sister and know things about you.  But what _is_ obvious is that Connor likes you back,” Mariana explained.

 

“You don’t know that! So before you ask me, no Mariana, I am not telling him,” Jude hissed.

 

 

Having heard more than enough of the exchange between Jude and his sister, Connor scurried back down the stairs and took his place back on the couch, breathing heavily. So he wasn’t imagining things. He thought he had heard Jude mumbling his name through his pillow on the drive to Jude’s house. And he was pretty sure he had heard Jude talking about him in his sleep last night.

 

Now he knew that his feelings were mutual, Connor had no idea what to do.  He wasn’t just going to ask Jude if he liked him, because then Jude would ask him what made him think that, and Connor would have to tell him that he was eavesdropping, which definitely would not reflect good on him. Maybe he should—

 

“Hey Connor, are you alright? You don’t look so good,” Jude commented, dropping a pile of their things on the floor and walking over to him.

 

“Y-yeah fine, just in a b-bit of pain is all,” Connor lied.  The nervousness he felt around Jude that had started to fade over the last night and this morning was returning to Connor with a vengeance.

 

“You need a painkiller? I mean the doctor gave you some just in—“

 

“ _No_ Jude, I’m fine, I _don’t_ need those,” Connor replied quickly.  He was _not_ taking prescription painkillers.  There was no telling what he might say to Jude under their influence; it was a risk he simply didn’t want to take.  He would just have to deal with the pain.

 

“Okay, well if you change your mind, I have them,” Jude told him before returning back upstairs to grab a few more of their things.

 

 

That night, Connor lay awake on the couch, trying to figure out what he was going to do. The rest of the evening had felt painfully awkward for him.  He didn’t know what to say, and that was a problem since Jude was constantly with him. Now that he knew that Jude liked him back, he couldn’t just sit on his hands and do nothing, he had to tell him his feelings.  Or at least he thought Jude liked him back.  What if he had misheard? _Yeah_ , Connor thought, _he probably just misheard_. He wanted Jude to have feelings for him so bad his brain was probably just playing tricks on him. He was just imagining things Connor decided.

 

“Connor don’t go,” Jude moaned on the floor next to him.

 

“Wait where am I going?” he replied.  Jude was silent for the next few minutes, and Connor figured that since Jude had mentioned he was a sleep-talker, Jude was just dreaming.  But that was another thing.  How could he explain the fact that Jude was dreaming about him if he didn’t have some kind of feelings for him?

 

“Connor!” Jude said again, this time more sharply, his breathing quickening. Connor heard Jude rustling in his sleeping bag as he flipped over.  “Connor, no!”

 

“Jud-ouch!” Connor uttered, crawling off of the couch towards Jude, wincing when he smacked his cast against the coffee table that was in between the couch and Jude.

 

“Connor!” Jude screamed, bolting upright.  His skin shined under the moonlight that was streaming through the window from the sweat that had formed, his breathing was heavy and his expression was one of utter panic. Connor scurried the rest of the way over to Jude’s side, sitting next to him, reaching over and grabbing his hand.

 

“Jude, I’m right here, it’s okay,” Connor said calmly.  “Nothing’s happened to me, I’m alright.”  Jude whipped his head around once Connor started speaking, staring at him for a moment before pulling his hand from Connor’s and throwing his arms around Connor, crying softly into his chest.

 

“Shhh Jude, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here,” Connor whispered softly into his ear, hugging Jude back tightly.  He was confused; what kind of dream could Jude have been having about him to make him so upset?  Connor didn’t know the answer and he wasn’t going to make Jude talk about it right now, but still he wondered.

 

Connor wasn’t sure how long he sat there, Jude draped all over him, sobbing into his chest. But it was long enough that Jude eventually stopped shaking, his breathing evening out as he fell asleep. His grip on Connor was still tight, and Connor had no intentions of making Jude wake up to let go, so instead he slowly wriggled his way into Jude’s sleeping bag, laying down to fall asleep himself, keeping Jude snugly in his embrace.

 


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I haven't finished part 5 yet (which I was supposed to do before posting this), but over on tumblr I promised to have the next part up at the end of the week so ya, here it is :)

_*5 Days Until Christmas*_

Jude woke up, finding himself laying on top of Connor who was in his sleeping bag with him. His family was looking at them, whispering furiously to each other.  Jude managed to extract one of his arms from his sleeping bag, taking it and waving at his family to go away, managing the best ‘bitch face’ he could despite being still half asleep.  His moms both gave him a raised eyebrow before shrugging and turning to shoo everyone away.

 

Jude slowly rolled his upper body over, off Connor (though their legs were still tangled together). Connor stirred, rolling over onto his side so the two of them were face to face, inches apart.

 

“Wow Jude, you have terrible morning breath,” Connor whispered, wrinkling up his nose, eyes still closed. Jude giggled at the face, but also wondered how Connor seemed to think that making such a statement was no big deal. Jude moved to separate his legs from Connor, earning a grimace from him, Jude assumed because he had hit Connor’s cast with his foot too hard.  “Ouch, Jude, would you let me do that?”

 

“Sorry,” Jude mumbled, lying still as Connor gingerly adjusted his legs so that they were now separated. Connor opened his eyes, intently studying Jude’s face.

 

“You doing okay this morning Jude?” Connor asked softly.

 

“I—yeah why wouldn’t I be?” Jude replied, confused by Connor’s question.  It was just a dream; now that it was morning he obviously was fine (besides the awkwardness that was hanging in the air they felt as they registered that they slept most of the night cuddled up to each other).

 

“I don’t know, whatever you were dreaming about last night seemed to have you pretty upset,” Connor shrugged.  Jude froze; his dream (strike that, nightmare) _that was about Connor_.

 

“It-it was just a dream. I was over it after I woke up,” Jude said.  Connor eyed him suspiciously.

 

“If you were over it after you woke up then why did you cry into my chest for like an hour?” Connor questioned.  “You don’t have to lie to me, I heard you talking about me while you were dreaming,” he continued softly.

 

“It-it was stupid really,” Jude mumbled, keeping his eyes down on Connor’s chest to avoid making eye contact. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“I’m not going to think it was stupid, Jude.  Dreams are dreams, you know?  Like I don’t think it’s weird you were having a nightmare about me.  It’s not like you have much control over your dreams,” Connor explained.

 

“You—you don’t find it weird?” Jude asked innocently, not sure that Connor was being honest with him.

 

“Yeah, I really don’t,” Connor assured him.

 

“Well I guess then—I was upset because—because in my dream you—you got shot,” Jude explained shakily.

 

“I can see how that would be upsetting,” Connor commented, reaching over and pulling Jude into a hug to comfort him, as Jude seemed to be on the verge of crying.

 

“Boys! You two need to get up so we can go get our Christmas tree sometime today!” Stef shouted from the kitchen, breaking the spell between them.  Jude quickly wriggled away from Connor, crawling out of the sleeping bag, grabbing some clothes from his duffel bag and sprinting up to the bathroom.

 

Whether Connor was judging him for having the dream or not, Jude was mortified and on top of that, worried. His feelings for Connor were developing way faster than he could’ve predicted.  Like seriously, he was having nightmares about Connor dying already? Those kinds of dreams were usually only reserved for people he was really close to (meaning family), and they had never popped up so fast.  He was still just getting to know Connor; he shouldn’t be dreaming things like that about him. Though he supposed it was better than dreaming about—nope, he wasn’t going to go there. Jude quickly tossed his clothes on, sauntering down the stairs and plopping down at the table to have breakfast.  At the moment, only his moms were in the kitchen, his siblings and Connor nowhere in sight.

 

“So, Jude, are we going to need to separate you and Connor?” Stef asked nonchalantly, causing Jude to spit out the drink of milk he was taking and his cheeks to turn bright pink.

 

“No mom! I just had a really bad nightmare and Connor was comforting me,” Jude exclaimed quickly.  “There’s nothing going on between us, honest! I still barely know him,” Jude continued, getting quieter as he spoke the second sentence.

 

“Alright bud, no need to get defensive,” Lena said sternly.  “We just need to keep things in this house PG, alright?”

 

“Connor’s just my friend okay? Nothing more,” Jude mumbled. Just then Connor hobbled into the kitchen.  “Hey, how’s your leg doing?” Jude asked, desperate to take his moms’ attention off of him.

 

“It’s fine, you know. Not great, but I’m managing,” he shrugged.

 

“Well, do you think you’ll be up to coming with us to get the Christmas tree?” Stef asked him. Connor nodded vigorously.

 

“Yeah I wouldn’t miss it!” Connor exclaimed, giving them a toothy grin.  “I’ll be fine, and if I need any help, that’s what Jude’s for, right?”

 

“Okay then, well as soon as you two are finished with breakfast we’ll be heading out,” Lena told them, and then she and Stef got up and walked out of the kitchen.

 

“So, did anyone see us?” Connor questioned him casually across the table.

 

“Oh yeah, everybody saw,” Jude muttered into his cereal bowl.  “They were all just standing in the kitchen entryway, watching us and whispering to each other when I woke up.  God my family is so nosy.”  Eyeing Connor, Jude noticed that his ears were starting to turn red.  He watched as the red color spread from his ears, down to his neck and up onto his cheeks.  _The way he blushed was really cute_ , Jude thought.

 

“Well we were kind of in the middle of the living room,” Connor conceded.  “Did—did they say anything to you?” Connor added apprehensively.

 

“My moms asked if they needed to separate us, but other than that no,” Jude replied.

 

“W-What did you tell them?” Connor stuttered.

 

“I um—I told them that you were just making me feel better after a nightmare and we’re just friends.” Jude glanced over at Connor and was almost certain he noticed the corners of his mouth momentarily twitch downwards at “just friends”.  “So they said okay and that was the end of it,” he continued on.

 

“So you ready to deal with your siblings then?” Connor questioned.

 

“Never,” Jude mumbled.

 

 

When they got in the car, they found that the rest of the family was already there, seated and waiting for them.  The only two seats left were the middle seat and the one next to it, forcing Jude and Connor to squeeze up next to each other.  Jude glared at Mariana as he climbed in, who innocently grinned back.  Jude had no doubt it was her idea to set this up. Connor awkwardly crawled back next to Jude, pressing up tightly against his side so that Jude was being smashed in between Connor and Jesus.

 

“So what were you two doing last night?” Jesus blurted out.  Jude groaned; it’s not that he expected any different from Jesus, he had just hoped…

 

“It was nothing,” Jude growled.

 

“I don’t know, it didn’t look like nothing to me,” Mariana chimed in.

 

“Shut up Mariana!” Jude growled.  
  
“Woah Jude, drop the attitude we’re just curious about our baby bro’s love life,” Brandon commented.  
  
“What love life, I told you, Connor’s not my boyfriend, Brandon!” Jude hissed.  
  
“But you wish he was, am I right?” AJ teased. Jude’s face went white as a sheet at the question. It was a question he could never answer; say yes and he risked rejection and making everything awkward, say no and then Connor would think that he wasn’t interested when he really was. What was he supposed to do?

 

“AJ, you can’t just ask him that!” Mariana interjected, firmly elbowing AJ in the side.

 

“Yeah dude, even I know that’s too far,” Jesus added, causing the car to erupt in laughter. That was, everyone except for Jude and Connor.  Connor was still looking at him curiously, having seen his reaction to AJ’s question. Under his gaze, Jude just wanted to burrow into his seat and hide out of sight. Connor reached over, grabbing his hand and clasping it gently. Jude turned to look at him, but Connor’s eyes had already turned to face forward.  Mariana glanced back at them, quirking her eyebrows up, but not saying a word.

 

When they arrived at the tree farm, Jude reluctantly dropped Connor’s hand as everyone got out. Jude and Connor went last, so Jude could help Connor with his crutches.  Connor put his hands on Jude’s shoulders, steadying himself on one foot before he grabbed the crutches from Jude.  Jude turned to find that his family had already walked up, so he took a deep breath.

 

“Um, Connor?” Jude said quietly.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What was that about?” Jude asked, taking another deep breath.  “You know, in the car.”

 

“I was just trying to let you know that stuff they were asking doesn’t bother me, you know?” Connor shrugged, starting to crutch after Jude’s family.

 

“But I mean they keep asking this stuff when we’re really just friends.” Jude replied.

 

“Let them think what they want, Jude.  We know what we are, what they say doesn’t matter.”

 

“Yeah, I guess. Hey, are you doing okay getting around, it looks like it’s kind of muddy?” Jude questioned, changing the subject.

 

“I’m fine, I’ll let you know if I have a problem,” Connor told him, irritation seeping into his tone.

 

“Glad to see that you two stopped making out long enough to join us,” Jesus teased. Jude was about to open his mouth to protest, but a nudge on his shoulder from Connor had the words dying in his throat.

 

“Jesus, I think that’s quite enough,” Stef said sternly.

 

“What I’m just—” Jesus started to fire back, before a glare of Mariana completely shut him up.

 

“We better get started looking for trees, it’s a pretty big farm so there are a lot of ones to go through to find the perfect one,” Lena stated, motioning for the family to follow her out of the barn.  Everyone took off, leaving Jude and Connor in the dust behind them.

 

“I think they forgot that you’re on crutches,” Jude muttered.

 

“Eh, it’s not a big deal. I’ll catch up eventually,” Connor replied.  “But you can go up and join them if you want.”

 

“And leave you on your own? I mean doesn’t leaving you alone while we’re doing stuff like this kind of defeat the purpose of you coming home with me in first place?” Jude retorted.

 

“I wasn’t injured then, and who I am that I should take away time from your family? You still barely know me,” Connor protested.

 

“Maybe I don’t know you that well, but Connor, I know you well enough and anyway, you _are_ part of my family now,” Jude argued.

 

“D-do you r-really mean that?” Connor asked him apprehensively, looking at the ground as he spoke.

 

“Of course I do, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” Jude answered, giving Connor a big smile. Connor looked up, and seeing Jude’s face, lunged forward, throwing his arms around Jude and hugging him tightly.

 

“That—that really means a lot, Jude, thank you,” Connor whispered, burying his head into Jude’s neck for a moment, his lips tickling Jude’s skin.  Even though Jude knew he shouldn’t be thinking about it, he couldn’t help but feel that he wanted Connor hugging him like this forever.

 

Connor let go, reaching back for his crutches that he had abandoned to embrace Jude, but he didn’t find them as they had fallen to the ground.  Connor threw up his hands, grabbing Jude’s arm to try and hold himself up, but the move caught Jude by surprise, and he couldn’t brace himself in time, sending them both tumbling into the mud.

 

“Jeez, we just can’t stop falling, can we?” Jude said, giggling as he lay on top of Connor.

 

“What do you mean?” Connor asked him curiously, staring at the Jude’s face that was only inches from his.

 

“I just mean,” Jude replied, rolling off Connor (he just couldn’t have his face that close to Connor’s; it was an invitation for him to do something he definitely didn’t need to do) and sitting next to him on the muddy ground, “that you fell on me at the skate park, then we fell on the porch steps and now this. I think we have a knack for falling on each other.”

 

“How am I supposed to believe that you two aren’t dating when I find you guys doing shit like this?” Brandon gaped, walking up to them.

 

“Connor’s on crutches, Brandon, stuff like this is bound to happen,” Jude countered.

 

“If you say so,” Brandon said, his tone suggesting that he didn’t believe Jude’s excuse, before turning and calling over his shoulder.  “I was just supposed to tell you that everyone’s waiting for you two to catch up and that you need to hurry up.”

 

Jude grabbed Connor’s crutches, tucking them under his arms as he grabbed Connor and pulled him up, and they slowly worked their way over to join the family.

 

“Connor!” Jude heard a boy shout from a short way away.

 

“Nick?” Connor half-yelled curiously, as the boy began walking towards them.

 

“Who’s Nick?” Jude asked.

 

“He’s um, my ex, I guess,” Connor said, biting his lip.  _Why did he have to show up here?_

 

“You mean the guy you slept with?” Jude whispered, lowering his voice as the boy got closer. Connor nodded grimly.

 

“Hey Connor, how are you?” Nick said cheerily, wrapping his arms around Connor and hugging him. Jude felt something flare up inside him at the gesture.

 

“I-I’m fine,” Connor mumbled, waiting uncomfortably for Nick to let go of him.

 

“And who is this?” Nick asked cordially, turning to face Jude.

 

“Oh, this is Jude. He’s my roommate and I’m staying with his family for Christmas,” Connor explained.

 

“Things didn’t go so well with your dad, huh?” Nick pressed, placing his hand on Connor’s arm, giving him a small, sad smile.

 

“Well if it had gone well, do you think I’d be with Jude?”

 

“Oh right, how silly of me,” Nick answered, laughing heartily and leaning in a little closer to Connor.

 

“And what about you Nick, you manage to salvage your grades?” Connor said, making small talk about the only thing he ever conversed about with Nick, ignoring his reply and taking note of the frown that seemed to be forming on Jude’s face, as well as the furrow of his brow and the steam that Connor could practically see coming out his ears. Was Jude—jealous?

 

_Why was he so friendly?_ , Jude wondered.  He thought Connor had said they just had sex a few times but they never talked. So with that in mind, how did he just know about Connor coming out?  Jude felt confused, but definitely above all, jealous of this boy. Why did it somehow feel like he knew more about Connor than he did?

 

“You seeing anyone?” Nick questioned, breaking both of them from their thoughts.

 

“I uh, no Nick, I’m not. Not after the whole coming out thing,” Connor told him.

 

“Well then, since you’re in San Diego and available, I have this crazy idea that we should like, hang out or something,” Nick said.  Connor could read between the lines: _Nick wanted to go on a date_.  But Connor definitely did not want to go on a date with him.  Sure they had sex, they had that common ground, but the little they did talk, Connor had figured out that Nick was a jerk; that was why their thing didn’t last for long.  And that was all without bringing Jude into the picture…

 

“…hangout or something.” That was the first thing Jude was finally able to register, and that was enough for him; he decided that he’d had enough of this guy.

 

“I’m sorry Nick, but he’s really busy, you know doing stuff with my family and all that,” Jude cut in, reaching over and grabbing Connor’s hand, hoping that hint would get Nick to back off. A small smile spread across Connor’s face at the gesture; judging from Jude’s tone, he was definitely jealous.

 

“Oh okay man, that’s cool,” Nick replied casually, not sounding disappointed, waving as he turned to walk away.  “Nice to see you Connor.”

 

“Thanks Jude,” Connor said once Nick was out of earshot, visibly relaxing.  “I don’t know why he keeps trying to be friendly with me, like doesn’t he understand how awkward it is trying to have a normal conversation with someone who’s fucked you?”

 

“It’s probably because he wants to do it again,” Jude muttered under his breath, wincing at the thought of Connor having sex with Nick.  Or having sex with anyone that wasn’t him for that matter.  Jude shook his head, trying to shake that last thought from his brain.

 

“No problem,” he finally said audibly.

 

“Really, I owe you big time. The last thing I wanted to do was hang out with him, but I’m really bad at saying no to people,” Connor falsely admitted. “It really helps that you said no for me.” He would’ve had no trouble saying no to Nick if Jude hadn’t cut in; but Jude’s reaction did confirm for Connor that Jude felt something for him, to what extent though, he didn’t know yet.

 

“Well I mean, you just looked really uncomfortable so I was just helping you out, no huge deal,” Jude replied, lying through his teeth about his motives. It was stupid really, feeling so jealous of Nick, so possessive of Connor, but he couldn’t help himself.

 

“As nice as this is, I kinda need my hand to walk, with the crutches and all,” Connor said, glancing down at their hands that were still interlocked.  Jude blushed, dropping his hand from Connor’s and shoving it in his pocket.  Connor turned, winking at Jude before crutching off to catch up with the family.

 

_Nice as this is?  Winking at me? Is Connor flirting with me?_ Jude wondered. Jude slowly ambled after Connor, hands in his pockets, head down as he thought over what just happened.

 

“Nice to see that you guys finally came to join us before Christmas is over,” Stef joked, tapping her foot impatiently.

 

“Oh we just ran into somebody we—uh I knew,” Connor explained.

 

“Okay then, now that you’re both here, let’s split up and look for a tree.  You know about the hat system Connor?” Lena said when he finished; brushing off this person they talked to, as she didn’t feel they were that important.

 

“Yeah, you know, you mark trees you like with a hat (A/N: this is how my family does things so I thought it’d be a fun wrinkle to put in; I’m probably going to use a lot of my family traditions in this tbh),” Connor replied.

 

“Good, okay so we’ll go in groups.  Let’s see, your mom, Callie and I will be one, then Mike and AJ, Jude and Mariana, and then Connor, Jesus, and Brandon,” Stef said, clapping her hands together.

 

“Mom—” Jude started to protest, his possessiveness of Connor kicking in even with his family (damn it; this was getting bad).

 

“Don’t you think it would be good for him to get to know the rest of the family?” Lena countered, and Jude paused for a second before nodding in agreement.  She was right, Connor couldn’t (and probably wouldn’t want to) spend all of his time with Jude.  So Jude trudged off with Mariana, leaving Connor to deal with his brothers.

 

“So who was this ‘somebody’ that you two saw?” Mariana asked, glancing back to make sure the rest of the family was out of sight.

 

“Connor’s ex,” Jude spat angrily, his jealousy boiling over before he could stop it.

 

“Woah, I see someone’s a little jealous,” Mariana remarked.

 

“I don’t even know why. Connor obviously didn’t like the guy, he looked so uncomfortable the whole time we were talking to him,” Jude confided.

 

“Because you have it bad for Connor, Jude, that’s why,” Mariana stated simply.

 

“Yeah,” Jude whispered. “And then, when I basically saved Connor from the guy, I just grabbed his hand, you know to give the asshole a hint and then before we started walking back, he basically told me it was nice holding my hand and then he winked at me.”

 

“My God Jude, you _have_ to just tell him how you feel,” Mariana groaned frustrated.  “He obviously likes you back, I mean, why else would he do that?”

 

“What if,” Jude began nervously.

 

“If what?” Mariana pressed anxiously.

 

“Before we saw the guy, I told Connor that I felt like he was part of the family now, because I do. But what if that means what he said was because he sees me as like, a brother and not someone he’s romantically interested in?” Jude explained.

 

“I highly doubt it, but if you’re unsure, then you could always ask him and find out,” Mariana suggested.

 

“I already told you, I can’t do that!”

 

“Suit yourself,” Mariana shrugged.  “Now let’s find this tree.”

 

 

“So, how do you really feel about Jude?” Brandon asked, looking over his shoulder to make sure Jude was out of sight.

 

“I-I’m sorry what?” Connor replied weakly, the question seemingly coming out of left field.

 

“Do you like him?” Jesus clarified.

 

“I-I-I mean he’s a really nice guy for sure,” Connor spluttered.

 

“That doesn’t answer the question Connor,” Brandon retorted.

 

“He’s definitely a likeable guy,” Connor spoke a little more confidently than before, still avoiding answering the question.

 

“We already know these things Connor, but what about you?” Jesus pressed.  “Do _you_ like Jude?”

 

“I-I don’t know. Sort of, I guess, but I don’t know him that well,” Connor lied.  He knew Jude well enough to know that he liked him, and possibly knew that Jude liked him back (but he still really didn’t trust his ears and even if he did, there was still the whole eavesdropping thing).

 

“Okay then, that’s all you had to say,” Brandon replied, giving Connor a gentle smack on the shoulder, turning to his brother and giving him a look.  Neither of them really believed what Connor had said.

 

 

“Okay so what did Connor say?” Mariana asked anxiously as the family (minus Jude and Connor who were playing video games downstairs) gathered in their moms’ room.

 

“He said ‘sort of, because he doesn’t know Jude that well,’ but I wasn’t buying a single word of it,” Brandon reported.  “Jesus agrees with me, he definitely likes Jude.”

 

“Excellent!” Mariana squealed. “See I told you this would work,” she added, turning to her moms who looked slightly stunned. Mariana had a plan when they went shopping for their tree; separate Jude and Connor to find out whether Connor liked Jude (she already knew that Jude liked him), and that plan had worked to a T, even though Stef and Lena didn’t believe it would.

 

“So now we just have to figure out how to get them to admit it to each other,” Stef commented.

 

“Which is probably going to be impossible to do,” AJ added.

 

“I don’t worry AJ, I have the perfect plan,” Mariana said smirking.

 

 

“So I hope my brothers didn’t give you too much trouble,” Jude said as they were playing video games.

 

“O-oh it was fine,” Connor stuttered, and Jude pausing the game and turning, looking at him concernedly.  Damn, he should’ve taken a moment to make sure that he spoke clearly.  His stutter had immediately tipped Jude off.

 

“What did they say to you? What did they want to know?” Jude asked sternly.

 

“Oh, nothing really important,” Connor shrugged, trying to get Jude to drop it.

 

“With my family, every question is important.  They were trying to find out something,” Jude replied.

 

“I don’t think so,” Connor replied calmly.  “I mean they just asked me what I was getting you for Christmas and when I told them, they gave me some suggestions,” he added.

 

“Are you sure that’s all it was about?” Jude questioned, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

“Positive,” Connor lied. Jude stared at him for a few more seconds before turning back to the TV and restarting the game.

 

 

Jude lay in his sleeping bag, trying to work his way through his tangled thoughts about Connor. Connor was sound asleep on the couch, snoring softly.  Today, Jude added another strange and unfamiliar emotion on top of all the new things Connor was making him feel: jealousy.  It was getting clearer to Jude that the more time he was spending with Connor, the deeper he was falling for him.  There was no doubt that if Connor didn’t—

 

“Juuuuuuude,” Connor called softly, almost too soft for Jude to hear.  Jude sat up, turning his head, examining Connor and listening closely for a moment before he settled back down on his pillow, deciding that he had just imagined the sound.

 

“Jude,” Connor said again, louder than before.  Jude listened for a while, but Connor said nothing else after that.

 

_Connor was dreaming about him too?_


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, this is the last part before things start getting really crazy I'm super excited for part 5 (which I'm currently writing) and I think y'all will be too :)

_*4 Days Until Christmas*_

“Morning Judicorn!” Mariana chirped cheerfully when Jude stumbled into the kitchen that morning.  As far as Jude could tell, they were the only ones up.  “How did you sleep?”

 

“Fine,” Jude mumbled, grabbing a mug and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

 

“I wouldn’t have pegged you as a coffee drinker,” Mariana commented giggling.

 

“I wouldn’t have either, but then college happened and well, you know,” Jude replied.

 

“You’re telling me,” Mariana said, still laughing gently.  “So you and Connor still need to get gifts for each other.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And I was thinking that I should probably take Connor,” she continued.  Jude gave her a raised eyebrow, wondering what she might be up to.  “Don’t give me that, do you really want Moms or Brandon or Jesus or Callie taking him?”  Jude shook his head.  “That’s what I thought.  Plus, I know the kind of stuff you like better than anyone else.”

 

Jude heard heavy footsteps from behind him, as well as the tell-tale clicking of Connor’s crutches, turning around to wave good morning and immediately wishing he hadn’t.  Connor had wandered into the kitchen shirtless, wearing only his pajama pants that he had slept in.  Jude gulped, staring at Connor’s bare chest for a few brief seconds, before turning back and intently studying his cup of coffee, trying to fight off the blush that was creeping up his cheeks.

 

“Hey—” Mariana began addressing Connor before Jude wildly motioned for her to stop.

 

“You _never_ talk to Connor before he’s had his coffee, Mariana, _never_.” Jude whispered harshly.  He was only going to wave for a reason.  Experience had told him that was the only safe gesture to make to Connor before he’d had any coffee.  Do anything else and he was liable to bite your head off.  Connor moved quickly (well as quickly as someone on crutches could move) around the kitchen, getting his cup and joining them at the table.

 

“He didn’t seem to have any trouble talking to you yesterday morning while you were both still in your sleeping bag,” Mariana retorted.

 

“Mariana!  Were you eavesdropping on us?” Jude replied sharply, his head jerking up and a scowl spreading across his face.  Connor’s head perked up at the word “eavesdropping”, curious to see how Jude would react to finding out that Mariana had been listening in on them.

 

“Oh, no Judicorn, that’s not what I meant, I just heard you two talking.  Not anything specific,” Mariana explained quickly.  Connor snorted at Jude’s nickname, earning a glare from Jude before he turned his attention back to Mariana.

 

“Okay good.  Because I just really hate when people make other conversations their own, it’s just so rude and annoying,” Jude commented, shaking his head gently.  Connor nearly choked on his coffee; well then, he could never tell Jude about what he had heard now.  “You alright Connor?” Jude asked as Connor spluttered.

 

“I—yeah,” Connor gasped weakly, regaining his composure after a moment.

 

“Okay, so Connor you’re going to be going with me today to get Jude his gifts,” Mariana said, assuming it was probably safe to talk to him now.

 

“Gifts?” Jude questioned, quirking his head to the side.

 

“Yeah, I talked to moms and they decided that since he won’t be getting presents from anyone else, you should give each other two instead of one.”

 

“Okay.”  Jude just accepted the new development.  There was nothing new that could be thrown at him that he wasn’t ready for now.  This break had been full of so many twists; the only thing Jude expected at this point was the unexpected.

 

“Enjoying the view?” Mariana smirked.  Jude had zoned out, and his eyes had landed squarely on Connor and his uncovered chest.

 

“I uh—I wasn’t—I um—I’m g-gonna get changed,” Jude stuttered, quickly pushing back his chair and scrambling out into the living room.  Connor felt his cheeks start to get hot as he realized just how embarrassed Jude was.  He should’ve put on a shirt before he came into the kitchen.  He hadn’t meant to make Jude uncomfortable.

 

“He wasn’t actually staring,” Mariana admitted when Jude was out of the room.  “Just zoned out.”

 

“Then why did you say that?” Connor asked, a little irritated that Mariana would do something like that to Jude.  “You really embarrassed him!”

 

“I’m his big sister, that’s my _job_ , Connor,” Mariana shrugged.  “Anyway, we’re going to be leaving to go shopping around 10:30, okay?”  Connor nodded.  “Alright then,” she finished, standing up and walking out of the kitchen.

 

“Good morning love,” Stef said as she came in shortly after Mariana left.  Connor was still sitting down at the table, slightly stunned by the events of the last five minutes.  “Connor, you need to be wearing a shirt,” she added, and Connor felt the blush which had just started to fade come back.  He stood up, nodding to Stef and heading out to grab some clothes to change into.

 

He stepped out into the living room to find Jude sitting on the couch, now also shirtless, with his head in his hands.  Connor knew he shouldn’t stare, but he couldn’t stop himself.  Jude was skinny and wiry, his chest didn’t have the same thick build or definition that Connor’s had, but by no means did that suggest that his body had no muscle or definition at all; it was just perfect for his frame.  His skin was pale, but not too pale; to Connor it almost seemed to give off an unearthly glow, one that he found almost intensely beautiful.  Remembering Jude’s hesitation when Connor had told him that he was hot on the ride there, as if he didn’t believe him, and seeing him now, Connor couldn’t understand how Jude might possibly think he wasn’t.

 

“Connor?” Jude asked, his voice cutting through Connor’s thoughts.

 

“O-oh I w-was just—” Connor stuttered.

 

“Looking at me for the last five minutes?” Jude cut in, finishing the sentence for Connor.  He didn’t sound upset or irritated, just bemused.

 

“I-I no, I-I was j-just zoned out,” Connor stammered, the two of them awkwardly locking eyes for a moment before Connor quickly grabbed his clothes and rushed out of the room (as fast as his crutches would allow), trying to ignore Jude’s eyes that were following him.

 

Connor slammed the bathroom door shut behind him, standing in front of the mirror and running his hands through his hair anxiously, trying to slow down his breathing.  He always knew that he found Jude handsome, but after what he just saw, not only was he handsome, he was smoking hot.  The image of shirtless Jude was burned in his head, his heart constantly flip-flopping as he recalled the sight in exquisite detail.

 

The sight of each other shirtless had managed to turn the other into stuttering mess, and Connor could tell that there was definitely sexual tension that was hanging around them.  Jude already made him very nervous, and Connor wasn’t sure if he could handle that tension on top of his already frazzled nerves when it came to interacting with Jude.  But he really didn’t have another choice, so he was going to have to deal with it.  He just wasn’t sure how long he could ignore this dynamic before he did something he was going to regret.  He needed to talk about this to someone; but who?

 

“Connor are you ready?” Mariana shouted, pounding on the bathroom door.  “I said 10:30 and it’s almost 10:45, come on, let’s go!”  It definitely wasn’t going to be Mariana, so Connor pushed all those thoughts to the side, putting on his clothes and stepping out to go with Mariana.

 

 

Jude wasn’t sure what had just happened.  Connor had come into the living room, and at first, Jude didn’t notice him, but when he lifted his head, seeing that Connor was there, Connor didn’t react.  He just kept staring, his eyes fixed below his face, on his torso.  Jude’s first instinct had been to toss on his shirt, but the longer Connor gawked at him, the more curious Jude got.  Jude studied his expression; cheeks ever so slightly flushed, his eyes intently focused (barely blinking), lips slightly parted.  It was then he realized: _oh my God Connor is checking me out!_   It was at that point that Jude spoke up and when he did, the blush on Connor’s cheeks got darker, yammering some excuse about zoning out before running off.  Now they both had awkward shirtless moments, and Jude was starting to wonder if Mariana might be right about Connor’s feelings.

 

 

“So do you know what you’re getting him?” Mariana asked as she and Connor were in the car on the way to a nearby shopping center.

 

“I—I don’t really know, I only have a few ideas,” Connor admitted.  When he made his confident declaration to Jude that he knew exactly what he was getting, Connor only knew what he was doing for one of his presents.  Now that he had to come up with a second present, Connor didn’t have a really good idea of what to do for his other one.  He thought he might as well have Mariana help him figure out that one first before he mentioned what he was already doing.

 

“Okay, well just spit a couple of them out, and we’ll go from there,” Mariana prodded.  Connor thought hard, wondering what would be just the perfect thing for Jude.

 

_*Flashback – Late September*_

_“God, I hate how expensive these tickets are!” Jude exclaimed frustratedly._

_“Tickets for what?” Connor asked his roommate curiously.  Normally Connor and Jude didn’t talk much, but Jude’s sudden outburst and gotten Connor’s attention and piqued his interest._

_“My favorite musical is going to be in San Diego in late December, but the tickets are too much for my broke-college-kid budget,” Jude groaned._

_“What’s the musical?” Connor wondered out loud.  Connor had been trying to make an effort to get to know Jude better, in spite of his obvious difficulty of being attracted to, and therefore nervous around Jude._

_“Wicked,” Jude said.  “The tickets are $50 a piece (A/N: I know they’re probably more expensive, just go with it), which if I actually had any money, wouldn’t be a problem!”_

_“Well, who knows, maybe you’ll make enough money to buy tickets in like, December or something,” Connor shrugged._

_“As if,” Jude grunted, so Connor turned back to the show he was watching on his laptop._

_*End Flashback*_

 

“Well there’s one thing I remember he mentioned he really wanted,” Connor said cautiously.

 

“And that was?” Mariana pressed.

 

“Tickets, um to _Wicked_ , maybe,” Connor explained.  “I remember him saying it was his favorite show and it would be here in January, but the tickets were too much for him.”

 

“That’s a great idea Connor, but it’s probably even more expensive now.  If Jude couldn’t afford it then, how are you going to now?  And what do you mean _tickets_?” Mariana told him.

 

“Well I was thinking—you know that I might take him,” Connor said softly, his face turning slightly pink.  It sounded an awful lot like it could be a date, going just the two of them, but Connor really wanted to see what the show was all about to Jude, so he wanted to go with him.  “And don’t worry about the money, I’ve got that handled,” Connor added.  His birthday wasn’t that long ago, and he had a lot of money from his dad that he was eager to get rid of.  Who better to get rid of it on than Jude?

 

“Uh, okay.  I think that’ll be fun.  So that’s one gift, but what else are you going to get him?” Mariana continued.

 

“One second,” Connor said, digging around in his pocket, pulling out a keychain with something attached to it.

 

“Connor, how did you get that?” Mariana asked, glancing at the small pocket knife that Connor had in his hand, recognizing it as something of Jude’s.

 

“Well…”

 

_*Flashback – Last Day of Exams*_

_Connor was wandering around the room, focusing on nothing in particular.  His brain was totally fried by exams; there were almost zero thoughts rattling around his head at this point.  He was just looking around the room, when he saw a small pocket knife sitting on Jude’s desk that Connor had never noticed before.  He picked it up, examining it closely.  The knife itself didn’t open, but on the dark, grainy wood adorning the outside, were the initials_ D.J. _etched in a simple calligraphic style._

_“What are you looking at Connor?” Jude inquired as he came into the room, sounding mildly irritated._

_“I uh—sorry,” Connor muttered, placing the pocketknife back down on the desk and striding over to their shared bedroom._

_“Wait, I’m not like upset or anything Connor.  Sorry, that was the exams talking, I was honestly just wondering what you were looking at,” Jude explained, his tone immediately softening.  “I don’t have anything I’m like trying to hide from you or that I don’t want you to see; I mean you’re probably going to find out about this stuff eventually since you’re coming home with me.”_

_“Oh,” Connor replied.  “So—so if you don’t mind me asking, who is D.J.?”_

_“D.J. was my birth dad’s initials,” Jude answered, walking over and picking up the pocketknife and handing it to Connor, noting that his expression immediately fell at the word “dad”.  “Donald Jacob.  It doesn’t work anymore, but I’ve always had it with me since I went in to the foster care system.  It was kind of like, a comfort I guess?”  Connor nodded, still studying it intently.  Jude watched Connor, wondering why he found this little trinket so fascinating._

_“I—I don’t think I have anything of my dad’s with me,” Connor said softly, some sadness showing through the tough façade that he had been putting up ever since he came out to his dad.  Suddenly he stiffened up, his tone turning harsh and all emotion disappearing.  “Not that I want anything of his.”_

_Jude had an idea, he didn’t even know where it came from, or if it even made any sense, but he decided just to roll with it._

_“Do you want it?” he asked apprehensively, pointing to his pocketknife in Connor’s hands.  Connor looked at him confused, but at the same time slowly nodding, an idea forming in his head._

_*End Flashback*_

 

“I um—found this right before we left for Christmas, and Jude—I don’t know why, but he asked me if I wanted to have it, and I said yes, because I was thinking maybe I could try and get it fixed, as like a present or thank you or something,” Connor explained.  “It’s probably a really stupid idea but—”

 

“Connor, that’s not stupid, it’s really thoughtful,” Mariana interrupted.  “Okay, so now that’s settled; that means we need to go to a jewelry store and to the theater box office,” she muttered, mostly to herself as she turned the car around.

 

 

“Hey, mama?” Jude called out, wandering around the house and looking for Lena, wanting to talk to her now that Connor was out shopping with Mariana.

 

“Living room bud,” Lena replied.  “What’s up?” she asked once Jude appeared.

 

“How are things going?  You know, with the pictures?” Jude inquired, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to her.

 

“We’ve got quite a few Jude,” Lena answered, looking up from what she was doing to smile at him.  “I think it’s going to turn out perfectly.  And what else are you getting him?”

 

“A skateboard,” Jude stated simply.  “When we went to the park a couple of days ago, he mentioned that he didn’t have one at school and the one he did have was at his dad’s, so he’s going to need a new one.”

 

“Well, I think he’s going to love both gifts bud,” Lena told him, placing her arm around Jude’s shoulders and giving him a light squeeze.  Jude sat quietly for a minute, deciding whether he wanted to discuss what had been weighing on his mind, ever since their first night home, with Lena.

 

“Hey mama, can I ask you something?” Jude questioned carefully.

 

“Anything.”

 

“Do—do you think Connor likes me?” Jude blurted out.  Lena paused, taking off her reading glasses and staring off into space for a moment.

 

“I—I think there’s a certain, I don’t know, something in his eye that I see when he’s talking to you.  I mean there’s probably something there,” Lena said slowly.

 

“That wasn’t there before?” Jude added quickly (A/N: I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t resist I’m Disney trash).  “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

 

“No, that was funny,” Lena replied chuckling softly.  “Connor definitely feels something for you Jude.  Did you talk to anyone else about this?”

 

“I did a little with Mariana.  But I don’t, I guess, trust her to read Connor correctly, you know?” Jude disclosed.

 

“Oh bud, you know that I can’t tell you exactly what Connor’s thinking, but you know, it’s not hard to tell he has something for you, and if you want to know precisely what—”

 

“All I need to do is ask him, I know.  That’s what Mariana told me,” Jude sighed.

 

“So I take it you like him,” Lena stated, earning a nod from Jude in response.  Lena exhaled, appearing to be lost in thought for a moment.  “Look, I know you’re worried about what might happen if you tell him, but if you want to know what I think bud, I think that I would tell you to just go for it, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Jude replied apprehensively.  No matter what his mama or Mariana said, he just couldn’t tell Connor, not now.  It was the same fear holding him back: the fear of making things with Connor awkward (never mind that things between them were already very awkward).  Even as the sexual tension between them increased and as Jude was falling deeper—

 

“Hey Jude,” Connor called as he walked in the front door.  Had it really been that long since he left?  Shoot, and Jude still needed to go out and get Connor’s skateboard.

 

“Hey Connor, I was actually just leaving.  Why don’t you talk to my mama for a bit?” Jude suggested hurriedly, jumping up and bounding out the door.

 

“Actually I was just about to head out myself, but I’m sure Stef is around here somewhere if you want to talk to her,” Lena replied, giving Connor a gentle pat on the back as she walked past.

 

“Did I hear someone call for me?” Stef asked, poking her head out of the kitchen into the living room.

 

“No dear, just talking about you.  All bad things of course,” Lena teased.  “Go ahead and go in the kitchen, I’m sure Stef would love you talk to you.”  Connor cautiously made his way there, quietly taking a seat at the table.

 

“Hahaha very funny love!” Stef called jokingly back to her wife as Connor made his way in.  “How’s your day been love?” she inquired, continuing to bustle around the kitchen as she spoke.

 

“Okay,” Connor answered softly.

 

“Just okay?  Something going on?” Stef pressed, switching to, best as Connor could tell from his limited time with her, mama bear mode.

 

“Just dealing with some stuff.  No big deal,” Connor said casually.

 

“Well, this isn’t normally my thing to say, and honestly it sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth, but maybe it would help if you talked about it?” Stef suggested, taking a seat at the table across from Connor.

 

“Um—do you think you could keep it just between us?” Connor implored, giving Stef an anxious look.

 

“Yeah, absolutely.”  Although if this was Stef thought it was, she would keep it between her, Connor, and Lena.  Probably Mariana as well.  Oh hell, that was a lie.  She was going to tell everyone in the family except Jude.

 

“I,” Connor began, pausing to take a deep breath, “I think that I really like Jude and I’m not sure what I should do and I was wondering if you might be able to help.”  Connor exhaled; it felt really good to get that off his chest to someone.

 

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Stef wondered, sounding as if that was the obvious solution to the situation (even though it most definitely was, that was the last thing Connor wanted to do).

 

“It’s just, what if he doesn’t feel the same way?  Wouldn’t that make things really weird?  I mean, I’m staying here until school starts up again, and I wouldn’t want to mess up the break for everyone else by doing that.” Connor explained rapidly, words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as his jaw could move.

 

“I suppose you’ve got a good point there love,” Stef pondered.  Connor was totally unreceptive to the idea of telling Jude (which honestly, Stef expected).  She needed to give him something else to try, something less obvious that he might be willing to do.  “Maybe instead of telling him outright, you could try hinting it to him?  And then read his reaction; maybe that might tell you what you should do.”

 

“I actually think that’s a good idea, thanks,” Connor muttered, getting up and heading into the living room to play video games for a bit.

 

“No problem love.”

 

 

Jude wandered into the bike shop a few block from their house.  He knew he was looking for a skateboard, but bikes and skateboards are similar, right?  Plus, he needed to talk to someone who actually knew a thing or two about boards, since he knew nothing himself.

 

“Hey there, what can I help you with?” the man behind the counter asked him coolly.

 

“I’m looking for skateboards,” Jude answered.  “Do you guys have any?”

 

“We certainly do!” the man (his name tag said Jake) replied, bounding out from behind the counter.  “What is it you’re looking for?”

 

“Um, well that’s the thing.  I don’t really know; I’m not a skateboarder myself.  It’s for a friend,” Jude explained.

 

“Oh, I see.  And how might you describe this friend’s skill level?” Jake inquired.  The truth was that Jude didn’t know; Connor looked like he was pretty good when they went to the park together, but Jude didn’t have any comparison to judge him off of.

 

“Maybe like medium skill level?” Jude told Jake apprehensively, shrugging his shoulders.

 

“Uh-huh, okay I think I know what he needs,” Jake said, disappearing into the back of the shop for a few minutes.

 

“This, little buddy, I think is exactly what you’re looking for,” Jake announced triumphantly when he returned.  Jude took a look at the board.  The only distinguishable feature to him was the solid blue design on the board, so Jude took Jake’s word, purchasing the board and rushing home to get ready to go caroling.

 

 

“You’ll never guess what Connor told me this afternoon,” Stef commented excitedly to Lena as they were in their bedroom, getting ready to take the family caroling.

 

“Oh no you don’t, you have to hear what Jude said first,” Lena countered almost simultaneously.

 

“Do not tell me—”

 

“You’re kidding!” Lena exclaimed.

 

“So you mean to say that they both like each other, and are both too scared to do anything?”

 

“Yep, I think that’s exactly what I’m getting from them.”

 

“Well, I don’t know that they’re not going to do anything actually.  I may have told Connor that he should start dropping hints for Jude,” Stef explained.

 

“But whether he actually does or not—”

 

“I have no clue,” Stef conceded.

 

“Well if that doesn’t work—”

 

“Or if Jude doesn’t pick up on Connor’s hints.” Stef added.

 

“Then we still have Mariana’s plan to fall back on,” Lena replied.

 

“Yeah, fingers crossed.”

 

 

“You ready to go caroling Connor?” Jude asked.

 

“Yep!” Connor answered.  “And you?”

 

“Not at all.  I’m a terrible singer,” Jude lamented.

 

“Well I’m pretty much tone deaf.  You can’t be any worse than me!” Connor joked.

 

“If you’re tone deaf, then explain to me why you’re so excited to do this?” Jude wondered.

 

“I don’t know, it’s just one of those things that I never would’ve done with—with my dad, you know?” Connor explained sadly.  Jude had noticed that Connor kept doing that; every time his dad came up, he would either quickly stop himself from mentioning him, or get very down if he did, and in either case, Connor would throw up his walls almost immediately.  Jude rapidly made his way over to Connor, sitting down next to him and wrapping his arms around him, hugging him tightly.  He needed to get this out before Connor put up his guard again.

 

“Connor, it’s okay to be sad and even to cry because you miss your dad,” Jude whispered gently.

 

“I don’t know why I do, I mean I hated him and he hates me.  So why does it hurt so much Jude?” Connor gasped, his body starting to shake lightly and a few tears beginning to stream down his face.

 

“Losing someone is always hard, no matter _how_ you lose them,” Jude murmured, pulling Connor’s head onto his shoulder, soothingly stroking his hair.  Other than the day when it happened, Connor hadn’t really cried, or expressed much emotion regarding his dad, and Jude was glad that he was letting some of it out now.  Connor definitely needed to.

 

“I just wish—” Connor managed to say before his sobs overtook his ability to speak.

 

“I know,” Jude cooed.  They stayed like that for, well Jude didn’t know how long, but by the time he finally pulled his attention away from Connor, the rest of his family had joined them in the living room, and were chatting merrily amongst themselves.

 

“You ready to go now?” Jude asked Connor softly.  Connor nodded, reaching up and wiping the tears from his face.  He then stood up, grabbing his crutches and going out the door, not having noticed that anyone else had been in the room with them.  Jude motioned for them all to follow, going out the door close behind Connor.

 

 

 

The Adams-Foster family went around the neighborhood, singing one Christmas carol after another to anyone who would answer the door.  A particular favorite was _The Christmas Song_ , which somehow they managed to sing ten times over the course of the evening.

_Chestnuts roasting, on an open fire_

_Jack Frost nipping at your nose_

_Yuletide carols, being sung by a choir_

_And folks, dressed up like Eskimos_

 

As Connor belted out the words time and time again, Jude could see the smile on his face growing bigger, the pain and sadness of earlier drifting further and further away.  It didn’t matter to Jude that Connor couldn’t sing to save his life; his voice still happened to be one of the most beautiful things he’d ever heard.  He sang with such confidence even though he knew full well he sounded awful, and that just made Jude’s heart melt a little.  Seeing Connor be so sure of himself, so confident, it was one of the things that Jude was finding he absolutely loved about Connor: his unwavering self-assurance in almost every situation.  But knowing what he did, Jude also knew that underneath that surface, there was someone who felt deeply, who wasn’t always so sure, no matter the things he said to the contrary, and he probably loved that more.  Jude sighed; there was no doubt that he was too far gone for Connor, if he simply singing could elicit this kind of emotional response from Jude.

 

Connor looked over at Jude, noticing that he was lost in thought.  He wasn’t singing, instead just looking at Connor, almost as if he was studying him.  Connor smiled, grabbing Jude’s hand and singing directly to him.  Jude stared back into his eyes, joining Connor in singing the last chorus.

 

_And so, I’m offering this simple wish_

_To kids, from one to ninety-two_

_Although it’s been said_

_Many times, many ways_

_Merry Christmas, to you_

 

They spent the rest of their time caroling holding hands (when they weren’t walking; Connor needed his hand for the crutches then), singing not to anyone else, but to each other.  Connor maybe couldn’t hear the different pitches of Jude’s voice, but he knew that it was wonderful.  Perhaps that was simply because it was _Jude’s voice_ , but Connor didn’t care.  It was the most beautiful music to his ears.

 

“That was so much fun!” Connor giggled when they arrived back at the house.  “I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed singing so much!”

 

“Well I’m glad,” Jude beamed.  The rest of the family had gone inside, leaving just the two of them on the porch.  “It wasn’t too terrible, having to listen to you squawk,” he teased.

 

“Hey!  Don’t give me that, I was watching you.  Admit it, you loved every minute of it!” Connor protested.

 

“Yeah,” Jude replied softly.  “I think I did.”

 

“We should probably get inside,” Connor commented.  “You know what they’ll think if we’re out here too long.”

 

“G-good point,” Jude conceded, turning and reaching for the doorknob.

 

“Hey Jude?” Connor asked.  Jude stopped, and Connor crutched up to him, deciding it was time to drop one of those hints like Stef had suggested.  “I don’t know that I’ve really thanked you yet.  You know, for inviting me here.”

 

“Oh, you probably—” Jude whispered, words getting caught in his throat as Connor’s face came so close to his that he could feel Connor’s breath washing over his face.

 

“Thank you so much, Jude,” Connor breathed out, placing a short kiss on Jude’s cheek.  Connor paused for a second, observing the goofy grin that was creeping across Jude’s lips and the dark blush appearing on his cheeks.  Having seen enough of Jude’s reaction, he then turned and opened the door, walking inside and leaving Jude speechless on the porch.  _Hint successfully dropped_ , Connor thought, _and better still, Jude reacted well_.  Now just to see how things went for the next little while.

 

Connor watched Jude the rest of the evening; not much was different, besides the fact that Jude blushed furiously every time they made eye contact or their hands brushed up against each other.  It was undeniable to Connor now, Jude liked him back, but he was still too shy to do anything.  Maybe his next hint would have to be more aggressive.

 

 

Jude felt as if his head was still spinning hours later as he lay awake, unable to sleep.  _Who knew that such a simple contact, the short brushing of lips against his skin, could make him feel like this?_ he thought.  For the whole evening, his brain kept strangling his voice, his nerves keeping him silent.  A simple kiss, not even on the lips, made him completely incapable of speech; it was unlike anything he had ever felt before.  He still didn’t know what it meant, what Connor was trying to tell him, but there was no doubt, Connor was simply driving him—

 

“Jude,” Connor whispered.

 

“Yeah?” Jude replied, the first word he managed to speak to Connor since on the porch.

 

“Juuuuuuude,” Connor whispered again.  Jude chuckled; Connor was dreaming about him again.  Jude turned over, closing his eyes and trying to drift off to sleep, replaying the cheek kiss in his head over and over again until he was out, trying to fit together the pieces of Connor’s behavior and frustratingly still unsure of what to think.  Maybe the next few days would tell him more.


	5. Part 5

_*2 Days Until Christmas*_

“So, what are you two planning on doing today?” Stef asked Jude and Connor, who were sprawled out on the couch, watching TV.  Yesterday they hadn’t really gone anywhere, except for Connor who went to pick up one of his gifts.  They had wrapped their presents and placed them under the tree, and then played video games the rest of the day.

 

“Nothing,” Jude answered casually.

 

“Great, so then you guys can go shopping for the party!” Stef “suggested” (it was a mother’s suggestion, meaning it was more of a demand than a choice), to groans from both Jude and Connor.

 

“Moooooom, do we have to?” Jude complained.  He was rather enjoying being lazy on the couch with Connor (if for no other reason than the couch’s forced proximity).

 

“Yeah mom, do we have to?” Connor echoed.  Stef beamed at him for a moment.  He called her mom; she had a feeling very similar to years before when Jude first came into their house; Connor was starting to see them as family and that was a big deal, even though Connor was going to be a part of their family in a very different way, or at least she hoped he would.  The smile stuck for a few seconds before her expression returned to being serious.

 

“Yes you have to, you are not staying cooped up in this house all day,” Stef commanded.  “And since shopping is about the only thing Connor’s up to doing, that’s what you’re stuck with.”

 

“Ugh,” they both replied.

 

“You better get going if you want to avoid the crowds.  The grocery store gets really busy around 10:00 AM, especially today since it’s the day before Christmas Eve,” Stef sang over her shoulder, sauntering back into the kitchen.

 

“So should we go now?” Jude wondered, his question directed at Connor.

 

“Yeah, why not,” Connor answered.  “The sooner we go the sooner we get back, right?”

 

“I suppose,” Jude grumbled, grunting as he got up off the couch, heading towards the door.  Connor started giggling behind him, and Jude spun around to look at him.

 

“What’s so funny?” Jude demanded.

 

“You’re really going to go out like that?” Connor chortled while he was in the process of changing his pants.  Jude gulped, staring for a second at Connor in his boxers, who was smirking at him, before averting his eyes to look at his own outfit.  His Star Wars shirt was fine, but he was still wearing his red and green plaid pajama pants.  He was _not_ going out in those.

 

“I-I um n-no,” Jude stuttered, looking up to see that Connor had finished changing.  He strode over, quickly plucking a pair of black skinny jeans from his bag (avoiding all eye contact with Connor) and ducking into the bathroom to change.  Just because Connor was comfortable changing in front of him, didn’t mean Jude was comfortable doing the same.  The sexual tension between them was getting ridiculous, and it seemed like Connor only wanted to add fuel to the fire.  Why else would Connor basically strip down right in front of him?  It was only a matter of time—

 

“Hey Jude, what’s going on?  You’ve been in there for ten minutes!” Connor exclaimed, interrupting Jude’s thoughts.  It seemed like everyone had a knack for cutting into his head when he was thinking about Connor; he had yet to have any kind of coherent string of thoughts about Connor that ran to their natural end.  Somehow, he was always interrupted (though maybe that was a good thing).  He ran a hand through his hair, quickly adjusting it, before stepping out and joining Connor who was waiting for him at the front door.

 

“Alright, let’s go.  I don’t want to be around these last-minute holiday shoppers any longer than I have to,” Jude urged, stepping out the front door and getting in the car.

 

 

“Okay, so if we split up the list, we can get done faster,” Jude explained, tearing off the bottom third of the list and giving it to Connor.

 

“Hey, why do you have more things on your part of the list?” Connor whined.

 

“Jesus Connor, what are you, five?  You’re on crutches Con.  It’ll take you longer to get that stuff, so this way, by giving you less items, we’ll still finish about the same time,” Jude outlined his plan to Connor.

 

“Ugh, fine,” Connor huffed.  “I hate being on crutches.”

 

“It’s not like you have much of a choice,” Jude countered.  Connor let out a long sigh, before snatching up a basket, struggling with it off into the store to find his items for the party (Connor had food stuffs).  Jude took off in the opposite direction, heading towards the party supplies.

 

“Red solo cups?” he mused, looking at the list.  “What the hell mom, is this a family and friends Christmas Eve get-together or a frat party?”  Someone else in the same aisle heard his muttering, and doubled over laughing, startling Jude.

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed, but that was just so damn funny,” the boy said, seeing the shocked look Jude was wearing.  “I’m Justin by the way,” he added, extending his hand for Jude to shake.

 

“Uh, I’m Jude,” Jude responded cautiously, gently shaking the other boy’s hand.  Justin was fairly slight in stature, tall but wiry much like Jude, with a rather ill-fitting Star Wars t-shirt hanging on his frame.  He had blond hair that was buzz cut short, and bright, blue eyes.  He certainly fit the category of “conventionally handsome”, not that Jude cared much for looks (except when it came to Connor).

 

“I really like your shirt, Jude,” Justin commented, motioning to his shirt as he spoke.  “I see you’re a fan of Star Wars too!”

 

“O-oh thanks,” Jude stuttered.  He wasn’t entirely sure what Justin was up to; it felt far too much like flirting, which frankly he wasn’t in the mood for.  “Yeah I am.  Huge fan,” he continued flatly.

 

“You excited to see the new one after Christmas?” Justin asked, taking a step closer to Jude, resting his arm on one of the shelves, standing so that he effectively blocked Jude’s path forward.  Jude swallowed hard, trying to send mental signals to Connor to save him.

 

 

Connor was still working on his list when he wandered past the party supplies aisle.  He glanced down, seeing Jude there, doing a double take when he saw another boy talking to him, standing closer than Connor (and also as far as he could tell, Jude) was comfortable with.  Sure Connor was concerned for Jude in the moment, but he was also unbelievably jealous.  This guy was trying to flirt with Jude, and Connor wasn’t okay with that; no one was allowed to flirt with Jude except him (okay so Connor knew that sounded entitled, but to be fair he knew Jude was interested in him, and there was no reason to believe that he was into anyone else).  He had to get this guy away from Jude; and maybe, if he did it the right way, he could drop another one of his hints in the process.  Connor hobbled up quietly, coming from behind Jude.

 

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” Connor asked, wrapping his arms around Jude from behind, his crutches clattering to the floor in the process (but that wasn’t important at the moment).  Connor felt Jude instantly relax, melting back into his embrace, breathing out a sigh of relief.

 

“Oh it’s going fine, I was just talking to uh—Justin here about the new Star Wars movie,” Jude replied, picking up on Connor’s game instantly.

 

“Yeah, he’s super excited; you know he won’t shut up about it!” Connor joked.  “I can’t wait for the two of us to go see it.”

 

“Don’t forget that we’ll actually be watching the movie this time,” Jude remarked, while Connor was winking at him.

 

“Aww, babe, you’re no fun!” Connor pouted.  The whole time, they watched as the scowl on Justin’s face grew.  Connor almost felt gleeful about it, though maybe that had nothing to do with Justin.

 

“W-well you two have fun,” Justin stuttered, quickly backing away from them, then turning around and nearly sprinting out of the aisle.  Once he was out of sight, Connor dropped his arms from around Jude, and Jude stepped away, bending down to pick up Connor’s crutches and handing them back.

 

“Thanks Con,” Jude said.  “That was getting super uncomfortable like I don’t know what he was doing, but I didn’t like the way he kept getting closer to me.”

 

“Yeah, that guy was giving me a weird feeling too,” Connor added.  “You think we should stick together now, just in case?”

 

“Please,” Jude replied.  He did not want to run into Justin again, but it wasn’t a big store, it could very easily happen, and he would rather have Connor with him.

 

“Here, grab my arm, you know, since you can’t hold my hand,” Connor told him, and Jude happily obliged.  Something about this felt—different.  Connor was probably just returning the favor for what Jude did with Nick a few days ago, but then again, maybe there was something more going on.  The way Connor was grinning goofily made Jude think that perhaps, Connor was—enjoying this?  Jude shook off the thought, turning his attention back to the shopping list.

 

Connor sighed softly; it seemed like Jude wasn’t picking up on his hint…again.  There was no reason for Jude to be holding onto him; just them being together would be enough to deter Justin if they ran into him again.  So having Jude hold his arm was because he wanted Jude to, but it seemed that was too subtle for Jude to pick up on.  Apparently Jude was observant about a lot of things, but when it came to Connor, it seemed, he was about as thick-headed as they came.  Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve party, Connor decided, would have to be when he made his big move.  He’d had enough of this waiting game with Jude.

 

_*1 Day Until Christmas*_

Connor was crutching around the house aimlessly.  Jude was showering, getting ready for the party and everyone else was busily bustling around, doing all the last minute set up things, so Connor was on his own to keep entertained.  He quickly grew bored of his phone, so now he had ended up wandering into the kitchen.  He glanced around, his eyes falling on a small green plant, hanging on the entryway between the kitchen and the dining room.  He’d never seen it before, but it didn’t take a genius to realize that it was mistletoe, and the light bulb went off almost instantly for Connor.  That was going to be his big move!  He was going to find some way to get the two of them underneath it, so he could kiss Jude, and then Jude would finally know how he felt—hopefully.

 

It was the perfect plan, but it was also a terrifying plan.  Even though he was pretty sure there was no way it could go wrong, Connor was still worried it might.  What if Jude rejected him; wouldn’t even kiss him?  What if—

 

“Hey Connor, whatcha staring at,” Jude questioned, striding into the kitchen, fully dressed but his hair still wet and messy, towel draped over his shoulders.

 

“Oh i-it’s nothing,” Connor spluttered, quickly averting his gaze from the mistletoe, not wanting Jude to maybe catch on to his plan.  Jude eyed him suspiciously for a moment, before shrugging and continuing through the kitchen into the living room, as the doorbell rang, and the first of the guests began streaming in.

 

 

Thirty minutes later, and the party was now in full swing.  Bunches of people were crowded into the Adams-Foster living room and dining room.  Connor hadn’t seen Jude since that moment earlier in the kitchen, and he still stood rooted to the spot, staring at the mistletoe.  The butterflies that he felt like were ripping through his stomach told him that he was going to need a lot more courage if he was going to follow through with this, and he was pretty sure he knew just what would give him that courage he needed.  Connor glanced over his shoulder at the drinks behind him, noticing just what he wanted to see among the various pops and bottles of wine: liquor.  Glancing around, making sure that no one was watching, Connor teetered over to the counter, grabbing the bottle of clear liquid and choking back several long, big gulps.  Connor didn’t drink, in fact he never actually had alcohol before and the stuff burned his throat and made him want to throw up.  Taking the bottle from his lips and letting out a few long coughs, Connor looked around again, and then took a few more swigs for good measure before setting it back in its place and crutching over into the dining room.  Now all he needed to do was to wait for Jude to appear in the kitchen, and then he would pounce.

 

Mariana had seen Connor standing in the kitchen before all that, and decided it was time to put her plan into action.  See, she had put up the mistletoe specifically to get Jude and Connor underneath it (it was part of her master plan to bring them together), she just had figure out how to do that.  She went into the living room, looking for Jude and finding him talking to their grandparents.

 

“…he’s had it really rough the last couple weeks, what with his dad and all,” Jude was saying when she approached them.  “He’s a really incredible guy and it just sucks that something like that happened to him.”

 

“Speaking of Connor,” Mariana said, clearing her throat, “he’s kind of all alone at this party with a bunch of people he doesn’t know.  You should probably go find him.”

 

“Oh, yeah, I suppose you’re right Mariana,” Jude conceded.  “Alright, well, I’ll catch you guys later then,” he added to his grandparents, standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

 

“Wait,” Mariana blurted out, almost a little too quickly.  “I think I saw him in the dining room.”  Jude nodded, turning around and walking the other way into the dining room.  Hopefully, if Mariana got it right, the two would meet in the middle, under the mistletoe.  Mariana smirked, catching the attention of Grams and Grampa.

 

“What was that all about?” Grams wondered, side-eying at Mariana suspiciously.

 

“Jude and Connor totally have it bad for each other,” she explained.  “We’re just trying to give them the ‘push’ that they need.”

 

“And how might you be planning on doing that?” Grampa chuckled.

 

“Mistletoe,” Mariana said with a wink before turning and hurrying into the kitchen, planting herself in a corner, where hopefully she would have a clear view of Jude and Connor, but still stay undetected by them, just in case she needed to “heard” the two under the mistletoe.

 

“So Con, how are you enjoying the party?” Jude asked, finding Connor in a corner of the dining room a few short seconds after leaving the conversation with his grandparents.

 

“It’s great,” Connor grinned, starting to feel more buzzed by the second.  Connor really didn’t know how much alcohol he’d had; if at that time, he had any idea just how drunk he was going to end up, he never would’ve drank in the first place.  But the deed was done and things were about to get interesting.

 

“Well you’re quite cheery, did someone spike your eggnog or something?” Jude joked, giggling as he did.

 

“Nah, I’m just happy to be here,” Connor replied.  He wasn’t going to tell Jude that he had alcohol, and he wasn’t lying to Jude, per se, given that he didn’t have spiked eggnog.  Besides it was true, he was happy to be there, at the Adams-Foster house with Jude’s—well now, he guessed, his family.  “Especially since I’m here with you now,” he continued, leaning in close to Jude and putting his head on Jude’s shoulder.  Connor had no idea where those words or that action came from, but he decided to just go with it.  Jude’s shoulder actually made for a pretty comfy resting place.

 

“Woah, what’s with the sappy, lovey-dovey stuff Con?” Jude asked.  Connor wasn’t normally like this, not even when he was happy like he was now.  Something seemed off, and Jude had a feeling he wasn’t going to like why.  “Connor, honestly, have you had any alcohol?”

 

“Hehe, maybe,” Connor giggled, swaying slightly on his crutches even as his head stayed on Jude’s shoulder.

 

“Con, you cannot be serious right now!” Jude hissed, ticked off that Connor would do something that stupid.  “My mom’s a cop!  Imagine if she caught you like this!”

 

“I was just trying to loosen up a bit,” Connor responded, his words starting to run together.  “I can handle myself.”

 

“Yeah, sure you can,” Jude scoffed, “seeing as how you’re getting more drunk by the second.  How much did you have?”

 

“I—I dunno,” Connor slurred.  “I just drank some from the bottle.”

 

Jude sighed, running a hand through his hair.  He really shouldn’t be surprised by this; if anyone had a reason to drink, it was Connor.  Truthfully, he wasn’t even really that mad; he just wished Connor hadn’t done this when there were a lot of people in his house.

 

“Look Con,” Jude began, lifting Connor’s head so that he was looking him in the eye.  “I’m not mad that you were drinking, I’m just—just irritated because this was a really bad time to do it,” he explained, realizing he might have come off a little too angry towards Connor.

 

“I’m sorry,” Connor mumbled, hanging his head.

 

“No, really, it’s okay,” Jude corrected quickly.  Connor looked so dejected, it was hurting him to see Connor like that, when it really wasn’t that big of a deal.  “Really Con, it’s fine.  We just have to get away from the party, you know, so no one catches you like this.  Come on.”  Jude put his arms around Connor’s shoulders, slowly guiding him into the kitchen.  It wouldn’t have been an easy task to begin with if Connor could walk normally, but he was on crutches, which made the feat that much harder.

 

From her vantage point, Mariana watched the conversation between the two.  She couldn’t tell what they were saying, but something was up.  Then Jude put his arm around Connor, leading him towards the kitchen, and Mariana leaped up.  This was her chance.

 

“Wait Jude, where are you guys going?” Mariana inquired, quickly running up to them as they set foot into the kitchen entryway.

 

“Oh um, Con’s not feeling well,” Jude lied.  “So we’re just going to go up to my room for a bit, right Con?”  Connor nodded slowly.

 

“I see, well that’s cool,” Mariana smirked.  “But before you go, you should look up.”

 

Jude looked up to see a green plant with red berries hanging from the archway above where they were standing.  He froze, feeling his face heat up; _he was under the mistletoe with Connor_.  This was honestly the last thing he expected to happen tonight; he was in no way prepared for what he was supposed to do.  He looked over at Connor, who was staring back at him curiously, a slight redness hanging on his cheeks as he bit his lip nervously.  Jude sighed softly; this was probably the worst time to do this.  Connor was drunk, Mariana was right there watching them, there was a whole party going on around them, and—

 

“Ah, fuck it,” Jude muttered, cutting off his internal dialogue.  He’d wanted to do this so bad, ever since that day in the car when he and Connor came home, when he first realized he was crushing on Connor.  He was just going to do this, consequences be damned.  He took his arm already around Connor’s shoulders, pulling Connor in closer to him, placing his other hand on Connor’s neck and smashing their lips together.

 

Connor was tense at first, caught off guard by the suddenness of Jude’s actions.  But after a few seconds, he melted into the kiss, pressing his body flush to Jude’s, wrapping one arm around his torso and the other around Jude’s neck, tangling his hand into Jude’s hair as his crutches fell to the kitchen floor.  He nipped at Jude’s lower lip, earning a moan that was quickly suppressed by Connor’s tongue in Jude’s mouth.

 

The kiss was really something to begin with, just the simple action of pressing their lips together had Jude feeling breathless, even though his lungs were full of oxygen.  But then Connor pressed up against him, and it was all Jude could do to keep a gasp from escaping his lips, and a groan from leaving his throat when Connor entwined his fingers into his hair.  Jude’s head was swimming, his heart was racing, and just when he didn’t think it could get any better, Connor bit at his lip, and Jude couldn’t help the sound that came from his mouth.  Connor was exploring his mouth with his tongue, and Jude went along, not knowing what to do, but what he did know was that this was the most perfect feeling in the world.

 

Finally, he ran out of air and he pulled away, panting heavily.

 

“Oh.  My.  God,” Jude breathed out.

 

“You got that right,” Connor replied, his garbled words suddenly pulling Jude from orbit above the clouds and sending him crashing back to earth.  Connor was drunk and now was not the time to be talking about that kiss, or about their feelings, or about anything.  Connor needed to be sober for Jude to even consider having that conversation.  Connor started leaning in again and Jude turned his head, looking over, and when he saw that Mariana had left, spoke.

 

“Con, we can’t do this right now,” Jude muttered, pushing Connor away from him.  “You’re drunk.”

 

“So?” Connor challenged.

 

“Con, it’s not fair, it’s not right,” Jude explained.

 

“Jude, I’m not that drunk,” Connor insisted.  “I know what I’m doing and I know what I’m feeling.”

 

“Con, please,” Jude implored.  “Can we just talk about this tomorrow?  I really would feel a lot better about doing this when you’re sober.”

 

“You know what, fine, whatever,” Connor mumbled angrily, bending over to pick his crutches up, losing his balance and landing face down on the floor.  Connor raised up his upper body with his arms and flipped himself over so that he was lying on his back.  “Okay, so maybe you’re right, maybe I am a little toooooo drunk,” he giggled.

 

“Alright Con, let’s go,” Jude said, grabbing both of Connor’s hands and helping him to his feet, trying to keep Connor steady while he picked up his crutches.  After a significant amount of effort and about ten minutes of hard labor, Jude got Connor up the stairs and into his room.

 

Jude wanted to talk, he really did, but he didn’t trust himself to say the right words, to stay away from talking about him and Connor, so he stayed quiet, his mouth feeling like it was super-glued shut.  And, other than at first, when Connor looked to be feeling as awkward as Jude was, Connor wasn’t talking because he had started to doze off, which Jude was thankful for.  So the rest of the evening passed without incident and eventually they made it back downstairs, settling in to go to sleep.

 

 

_TW for guns and violence_

“Jude, you can’t be serious!” Connor exclaimed.  “You are literally out of your fucking mind!”

 

“Look Connor, I can’t let him leave things between you two like this,” Jude explained.  “I care about you too much and I know how much this is hurting you.”

 

“Yeah I know it’s hurting me, but it’s too risky!  I don’t know what he might do to you,” Connor said, trying to reason with Jude.

 

“I’ll be fine Connor, I promise,” Jude said softly, pressing a short kiss to Connor’s cheek as he walked past him and out the door.  Connor waited a few minutes before sprinting out after him, maintaining his distance.  He didn’t want Jude to know that he was following him.

 

Jude turned, walking up the driveway and through the front door of a house that Connor would’ve recognized anywhere.  As the door latched shut behind Jude, Connor felt his heart drop to the pavement beneath him.  He took a deep breath and snuck up onto the porch, peaking into the house through the window.

 

There, _he_ stood, his mouth moving but his voice inaudible from Connor’s vantage point outside.  And Jude stood there in front of him, his fists clenched, as he faced the man responsible for bringing them together (for all the wrong reasons).  The man who kicked Connor out.  Connor’s dad.

 

Connor couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he watched as his dad’s face grew redder, very clearly getting angrier with what Jude was saying to him.  Finally Connor couldn’t stand it anymore; he had to get Jude out of there before his dad did anything to him.  He tiptoed to the door, his fingers grasping the handle when he heard a deafening bang on the other side.  He flung the door open, revealing nothing but an empty room, with Jude lying on the floor, red blossoming on his shirt.

 

“JUDE!” Connor screamed, rushing to his side, kneeling on the floor as he took Jude’s body into his arms.

 

“Connor,” Jude whispered weakly, as the color drained from his face and his body went limp in Connor’s embrace.  Connor sobbed, wailing loudly for a few minutes before a voice cut through his pain.

 

“Connor!” Jude shouted.

 

 

Connor shot up, tears streaming down his face as he stared at the boy kneeling on the floor next to the couch where he had been sleeping.

 

“Jude,” he choked out, reaching out and drawing him into his arms, burying his head into Jude’s neck.  He needed to feel Jude up against him, so he could know that what had just happened was only a dream.  So he could know that this was the real Jude, the one still living and breathing in his arms, not the Jude dead on the floor of his dad’s house.

 

“Connor, what happened?” Jude whispered, rubbing slow circles into Connor’s back.

 

“No,” Connor gasped, that being the only word that he could force out.  Jude just nodded.

 

“Shh, okay, it’s alright then,” Jude cooed.  If Connor didn’t want to talk, now was not the time to make him.  But Jude didn’t need Connor to talk to have a decent idea of what happened.  Connor was distraught after waking up from a dream where he was screaming Jude’s name, so he added: “I’m right here, it’s okay, I’m okay.”

 

Connor gently tugged upwards, as best Jude could tell, asking him to sleep up on the couch with him.  Jude carefully climbed up, settling in between the back of the couch and Connor, who quickly cuddled up into his side, still shaking gently from the sobs escaping his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize for the ending but...nope! But hey, the kiss finally happened so huzzah for that! :)


	6. Part 6

_*Christmas Morning*  
_ Christmas in the Adams-Foster house always started late.  It wasn’t unusual for the family to be just starting gifts around 9:30-10:00 in the morning.  But then again, each person usually only had one or two gifts to open, so it didn’t take them more than a half hour to actually open everything.

 

Neither of them had woken up before the rest of the family, so in a turn of events quite similar to just five days earlier, Jude woke up to them all standing and watching them, whispering to each other.  Today, though, Jude didn’t care.  After what happened the night before, it seemed pretty likely that this wasn’t the last time he and Connor were going to wake up together in his house.

 

His family filed into the living room after seeing that Jude had woke up. Connor, on the other hand, was blissfully unaware to the commotion that was brewing around him. Jude smiled at the sight of the sleeping boy next to him, Connor’s head hidden from view but his body practically all over Jude; his arms around Jude’s torso, his (uninjured) leg laying across Jude’s legs.  Connor was peaceful, his body completely relaxed, in stark contrast to the tension radiating off of him when Jude had joined him on the couch late the night before.

 

Jude now had to wake Connor up; it was time to open their presents. Jude hated to do it; peaceful, sleeping Connor had honestly become his favorite Connor, but it had to be done.

 

“Connor?” Jude said softly, using the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Connor to gently shake his shoulder as Jude turned his head, placing a kiss on the part of Connor’s head closest to his lips.

 

“Mmmmmmm,” Connor groaned, squeezing Jude tighter and trying to burrow his head deeper into Jude’s neck.  Jude giggled; Connor’s short stubble tickled his skin.  “Mmmmmm,” Connor groaned again.

 

“Come on Connor,” Jude said.  “You need to get up.  It’s time to give out gifts.”

 

“I don’t wanna,” Connor complained.

 

“Well, we’ll just get started without you then,” Jude countered, futilely trying to wriggle out of Connor’s grip.

 

“Ugh, fine,” Connor grunted, sitting up, keeping his arms firmly around Jude so that when they were both upright, Connor could still keep his head snugly in the crook of Jude’s neck.  Jude’s moms looked at him curiously, but Jude just shrugged the shoulder Connor’s head wasn’t on, giving them a smile.

 

The next scene could only be described as one of utter chaos. Brandon, Jesus and AJ all scrambled to get their gifts from under the tree first, even as Stef screamed something at them about being “civil”.  They ended up in a jumbled mess of limbs on the floor, Mariana and Callie smugly stepping past them to grab their presents and settling down.  Brandon was the first to untangle himself, quickly snatching up the wrapped box with his name on it, Jesus following close behind. AJ grabbed his next, and finally Stef and Lena entered the fray, grabbing the remaining presents and distributing them.

 

Jude was handed only a small box, a bit surprising since he expected Connor was going to have him open both of his gifts now (though he was waiting to give Connor his second gift until later too).

 

“I’ll give you the other one after this is all over,” Connor whispered, gesturing to what was quickly turning into a mess of wrapping paper as a loud cacophony of voices started to fill the room, confirming what Jude had been thinking.

 

“Okay,” Jude nodded, since his words were lost in the commotion of the living room.  “Now open yours first!” he continued, speaking louder and gesturing to the large box that Lena had placed on the couch next to Connor.  Connor picked it up, ripping at the paper that Jude had used (which had basically turned into 50% tape, since Jude sucked at wrapping things), revealing a large brown box underneath the paper.

 

“Ayyy! Connor got the first brown box!” Jesus yelled, to Connor’s confusion.

 

“We have this thing with boxes,” Jude said.  “It’s hard to explain.” (A/N: this is based on a family tradition in my house about getting the first white box it really _is_ hard to explain and if you don’t get it, oh well; this part is in here purely for my own entertainment)

 

“Oh, okay.  Jeez Jude, you couldn’t have just wrapped it as is?” Connor joked, digging at the tape keeping the box closed.

 

“That would’ve given my present away too easily you dork!” Jude retorted, giving Connor a playful shove.  After a minute, Connor opened the box to reveal the skateboard that Jude had bought.

 

“Jude! Thank you so much, oh my God this had to be so expensive!” Connor exclaimed, excitedly tossing the board aside and putting his arms around Jude, squeezing him tightly.

 

“You’re welcome!” Jude smiled.  “And don’t even worry about that Con, I got it handled.”

 

“Really, thank you!  I mean it kinda sucks that I can’t use it until after I get out of my cast but it’s still perfect,” Connor commented, releasing Jude and picking the board back up, examining it closely. “Replaces the one I guess I don’t have anymore,” he added, mumbling inaudibly.

 

“I’m really glad,” Jude replied, breathing out a sigh of relief. At least one of his gifts was good. He wasn’t so sure about the other…

 

“Wait, wait, okay so now open yours!” Connor shouted, shaking Jude gently from his own excitement.  Jude turned his attention to the box in his hands, carefully pulling the top off to reveal what was inside.  Jude raised an eyebrow; it was his dad’s old pocketknife that he had given Connor. Why was Connor giving this back to him? “Open it up, Jude,” Connor directed.

 

“What, but it doesn’t—” Jude started, picking it up and doing as Connor suggested, the blade swinging in and out of the wooden casing with ease. “Y-you fixed it?”

 

“Well I didn’t, I’m not that skilled with my hands,” Connor chuckled, “but I did pay for someone at the jewelry store to fix it.  It’s just that—when you were telling me about this pocketknife, I could tell how much it meant to you, and I thought, you know, wouldn’t it be nice if you could actually use it, like maybe that might make it more special or something, I don’t know it was kind of silly idea but I—” Connor continued, rambling on nervously before Jude cut him off by putting a finger on his lips.

 

“This was so thoughtful,” Jude said quietly.  “Thank you, I love it.”  Connor grinned, relieved that Jude had liked the idea.  Connor turned to see that the rest of the family had left the room, gathering in the kitchen for breakfast and leaving them alone in the living room.  “Since it’s just you and me, we should open up our other gifts.” Jude commented.

 

Connor nodded, so Jude rose to his feet, bounding up the stairs, and Connor reached into his suitcase that was leaning up against the couch, pulling out an envelope.  Had things not played out like they had the night before, Connor would be incredibly nervous about giving Jude his other gift, but now he wasn’t quite as nervous. Jude was gone for quite a while, finally coming back down the stairs about fifteen minutes later, clutching a small leather book in his hands.

 

“Can—can I give you mine first?” Jude stuttered, and Connor agreed, taking the book from Jude’s hands and carefully lifting the cover, revealing not a book but a small screen.  Tapping it, the pixels lit up, springing to life as the first picture appeared on the display. It was a picture of the two of them from the night before, kissing under the mistletoe.  Connor gasped, gaping for a few seconds before the screen changed, showing a new picture of them, both lying on the ground, laughing at each other at the Christmas tree farm.  The display kept changing, showing picture after picture of the two of them. The two of them snuggled up on the loveseat, watching Star Wars.  The two of them cuddled up on the floor in Jude’s sleeping bag.  The two of them holding hands while singing Christmas carols. The two of them hugging in Jude’s room.

 

Every picture was candid, and in almost every picture, Connor noticed that he was smiling goofily, just like he was now, staring at the screen, reliving the best moments of their break together through these photographs.

 

“Jude,” Connor whispered, happy tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “How did you get these?”

 

“I asked my family to take pictures of us whenever they could,” Jude said sheepishly.  “I don’t know why exactly, I guess I just thought that this was going to be something special and I wanted to document our break together.”

 

“This—this is the best gift I’ve ever gotten Jude,” Connor murmured. Connor kind of wanted to tackle Jude to the couch and kiss him senseless right at that very moment, but he held himself back.  Jude was still going to want to talk, and he also needed to give Jude his gift first.

 

“Hey Jude, can we talk about last night now?” Connor asked, closing the cover of the photo album and turning to face Jude.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Look, I’m really sorry about being careless like that last night I just—”

 

“Con, I really don’t care that you did it, I just want to know why,” Jude responded.  “Because if you were drinking because of—you know—everything with your dad, that’s a really bad habit to be in and I don’t want you to—”

 

“Oh Jude, God no that’s not why I was drinking!” Connor exclaimed a little too loudly.  Jude quickly shushed him, covering Connor’s mouth and glancing around to see if anyone in the kitchen heard his outburst.  No heads peaked out from the kitchen, and the conversations seemed to still be going at full volume, so Jude lowered his hand and let Connor continue.

 

“I was drinking because—because I thought it might give me a little extra courage,” Connor admitted.

 

“Extra courage?  Why would’ve you needed that?” Jude questioned.  Connor bit his lip, contemplating whether to tell Jude why or demonstrate why. Glancing at Jude’s lips, Connor made up his mind to demonstrate.

 

“I needed extra courage,” he said, sucking in a deep breath, “so I could do this.”

 

And so Connor rapidly closed the gap between them, crashing their lips together and kissing Jude passionately.  Jude thought about the night before, and following Connor’s example, gently nipped at Connor’s lower lip.  Connor grinned against his lips, keeping his mouth closed for a little while longer before _he_ bit at Jude’s lip, and Jude couldn’t stop himself.  He groaned, parting his lips ever so slightly and granting Connor access to his mouth. They kissed like that for—well Connor had no idea how long, but it at least until he ran out of oxygen (and maybe for a little bit past then).

 

“Of course, you beat me to the punch though,” Connor added, breathless as he pouted.

 

“Well I didn’t know if you were going to actually kiss me! You were just standing there, staring at me,” Jude explained, “so I thought I might as well just take the plunge first.”

 

“I was going to, I just needed a little more time!”

 

“Well we didn’t have forever.”

 

Oh, well, that’s true.  I mean I don’t know how long it was going to take me.  But um, keeping that and last night in mind, uh here,” he said, handing the envelope to Jude.  Jude carefully unfolded the flap, pulling out the card and intently the reading its contents.

 

_Jude,_

_I remembered a few months ago you telling me that you wanted to go see this musical, and how frustrated you were that you couldn’t get tickets.  So I got you a ticket, and well there’s one for me too.  I thought we could go see it together.  You know I’ve never seen Wicked and I was thinking, who better to see it with for the first time than you?  I know this looks kind of like a date, but it doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be.  But if you want it to be a date I’m totally down with that :)  Okay now I’m somehow anxiously rambling in a card hahahaha I’ll stop now._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Connor_

 

Once Jude finished reading, he didn’t hesitate.

 

“Yes Connor, it’s a date,” Jude grinned, and now Connor did actually tackle Jude onto the couch cushions, smiling into the big, sloppy kiss he gave Jude.

 

“So now that we have all this talking crap out of the way, there’s one more thing: I feel like there’s kind of been this unspoken thing between us the past two or three days,” Connor commented after he had finished assaulting Jude with his kisses, “and I think now is probably a good time to tell you: I like you a lot Jude.”

 

“I gathered,” Jude sassed, barely getting the words out in between his giggles. “I guess I should probably…you know what, never mind,” he continued with a mischievous smirk.

 

“You little stinker!” Connor screeched playfully, using his position above Jude to pin him down and tickle him.

 

“C-Co-Con! Please…don’t…ahhhh!” Jude laughed, squirming and trying to get his body away from Connor’s fingers. “I’ll tell you alright just stop tickling me!”

 

Jude sat up and smoothed his shirt out, breathing heavily and still chortling slightly.

 

“I like you too Con,” he said finally, entwining their fingers as he leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Connor’s lips.  “Now we should probably get some breakfast before all the food is gone.” Jude reluctantly dropped Connor’s hand, silently cursing Connor’s crutches as he did.  They entered the kitchen to raucous applause from Jude’s family. “Please don’t tell me you were watching us,” Jude groaned.

 

“Of course they were watching us Jude.  It wasn’t that hard to predict.  Besides, they all suck at camouflage, I mean they were pretty easy to see,” Connor replied.  “Damn, how is it I know your family better than you?”

 

“Oh I don’t want to hear it Con, I thought you were on my side,” Jude quipped.

 

“I am on your side babe, I just don’t see the harm, I mean it’s not they only time they’re going to see us kissing,” Connor remarked, leaning in and quickly giving Jude a peck on the lips, before joining the rest of the family at the table.  Jude smiled shyly, his face turning a shade of red to match the ripe strawberries sitting out on the table to go with breakfast.

 

 

“So are you guys, like official now?” AJ asked as the family (minus Lena and Grams, both cooking up a storm in the kitchen) lounged around in the living room later that afternoon.  Jude and Connor were both on the couch, Jude comfortably resting his head with his eyes closed on Connor’s chest as they laid there, Connor’s arm around Jude’s chest, their hands intertwined.

 

“I guess you could say that,” Jude conceded, his eyes staying firmly shut.

 

“Okay cool,” AJ replied.

 

“So when’s your first date?” Mariana squealed excitedly.

 

“Take a guess,” Connor retorted.  Mariana was with him when he bought the tickets, seriously how could she not know?

 

“Wait ohhhh my God are you guys gonna like go out for like a fancy dinner beforehand?” Mariana inquired.  Connor furrowed his brow; he hadn’t thought much about it, but it made sense for him to take Jude out for dinner.

 

“Well it’s an afternoon show so it wouldn’t be before, and yes, we will,” Connor replied, making the decision right then.  It was his date to plan, right?

 

“You already paid a bunch for the tickets, you don’t need to take me out for dinner,” Jude protested.  Connor was broke, and not in the sense that Jude was college-student-broke, but in the sense that he was almost literally broke since he didn’t have his dad to give him money, meaning Connor had no income source.  Connor was _not_ going to drain himself of what little cash he had left just to take him on a date.

 

“Jude, would you let me worry about that?” Connor insisted. Jude considered whether to push the issue, given that money is almost always a sensitive topic of conversation.

 

“Okay,” Jude said, deciding to let the issue go for now. But he wasn’t sure that he wanted to let it go permanently.  He would wait and see.

 

“Well I can’t wait to hear about it, I’m sure the date will turn out perfect!” Mariana exclaimed.

 

“Date?” Jesus wondered.  “Who’s going on a date?”

 

“Ugh, Jesus, have you not been paying attention like this whole break?” Mariana sighed.  “Who in this house do you _think_ is going on a date?”

 

“Those two idiots?”

 

“’Those two idiots’?” Jude snapped, his eyes flying open so he could glare at everyone in the room.

 

“Hey, you were actually being idiots!” Brandon defended. “Since you obviously both liked each other and last night was the first time you did anything about it!”

 

“They’ve got a point Jude,” Connor giggled.

 

“You better watch it mister, or else you’ll be sleeping on the couch by yourself tonight,” Jude threatened, even though he wasn’t really all that serious.

 

“Ouch, that’s harsh,” Callie chuckled.

 

“Nah, he wouldn’t really do it,” Connor said.

 

“Oh, you wanna test me?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“That’s what I thought.”

 

 

_*5 Days Until New Year’s*_

_“MARIANA!!!!!!”_ Jude screamed from the bathroom.  Today was the day of his and Connor’s date and Jude was so anxious he could barely breathe, let alone pick an outfit and do his hair.

 

“You called?” Mariana asked, peaking in the door.

 

“Help,” Jude mumbled weakly.

 

“Oh my—Callie!” Mariana yelled, calling for her sister; she was not going to be able to handle this on her own.

 

“What’s up Mari?” Callie inquired, her head popping out of the doorway to their bedroom.

 

“Come see for yourself,” Mariana replied, gesturing into the bathroom.

 

“Oh um, alrighty then,” Callie stated, walking out into the hallway and glancing in at her brother, pale faced as he stood in the middle of the bathroom in only his boxers, before quickly turning back to Mariana. “You get to work on his hair and I’ll dig through his clothes and find something for him to wear. Oh and paint his nails too, go with that blue, I’m sure Connor will love that.”

 

“Okay, got it,” Mariana acknowledged, sliding into the bathroom and getting right to work.

 

Callie hurried down the stairs, happening past the downstairs bathroom where it appeared a similar scene was playing out for Connor, who had turned to (of all people) Brandon and Jesus.

 

“Connor, if I were you, I’d get Mama in on this,” Callie commented casually as she walked past.

 

“Get me in on what?” Lena questioned, having just been walking past at that moment.

 

“The boys are freaking out over their date and Connor has apparently thought it wise to turn to Brandon and Jesus for help getting ready,” Callie explained.

 

“Oh honey,” Lena muttered, stepping into the bathroom and rapidly shoving the other two boys out.

 

Jesus shrugged, taking off to go, well somewhere else in the house, but Brandon stood there for a moment, pouting.

 

“It’s for the best, trust me,” Callie said, patting Brandon on the back and continuing into the living room where Jude’s clothes were.

 

“Okay no no no no no,” Lena mumbled, taking one look at Connor and shaking her head gently.  “Stef, dear, would you come here?”

 

“Yes love?”

 

“What do you think of this?” Lena asked.

 

“Looks fine to me,” Stef shrugged, glancing at the combo of plaid and jeans.

 

“Oh right, what was I thinking, asking you to help me with this? That’s all I need then, you can go,” Lena laughed.  “Okay Connor, what do you have in terms of dress shirts?”  Connor stared at her blankly.  “Hmm, okay I’ll be right back, I’m going to go take a look at what you have in your suitcase.”

 

 

“Jude, what do you think of this?” Callie questioned, showing Jude a blue button-up paired with black skinny jeans.

 

“Wait hold up, does that match the nail polish?” Mariana interrupted before Jude could reply.

 

“Let me see the bottle,” Callie demanded.  Mariana handed it to her, and Callie examined the two for a moment before nodding curtly.  “Yeah, that’ll match well enough.”

 

“Okay then Judicorn, get this on and then we’ll do your nails.”

 

 

“How about this instead?” Lena said, holding up a green checkered shirt and red skinny jeans.

 

“You want me to go out looking like a walking Christmas tree?”

 

“Well Connor, it is only December 27th, you wouldn’t look that out of place.”

 

“I don’t know—”

 

“Do you have a better outfit to wear?” Lena challenged and Connor shook his head.  “That’s what I thought, now put this on and then finish with your hair and you’ll be all ready.”

 

 

As Mariana started to put on his nail polish, Jude could feel himself calming down.  It was like back in middle school, when he wore the blue on his fingers as almost a kind of protection. It was his warpaint, as he always called it.  And even now it still had the same, settling effect on him.  She finished, and he gave himself one last look in the mirror before heading down the stairs to meet Connor.

 

 

It felt so stupidly cliché to Connor, the way he was smiling so broadly as Jude came down the stairs, but God he just couldn’t help it. With that slight ruffle to his carefully styled hair, the crooked grin he wore on his face, the blue shirt that just perfectly fit his frame, and well, his legs (and even though he couldn’t see it from his current vantage point, butt) in those jeans, Jude was literally the most stunning boy on the planet.  Connor was sure he could literally feel his breath being taken away.

 

Jude, of course, was staring at Connor too.  And Jude was staring for all the obvious reasons: Connor’s chiseled muscles, his puppy dog eyes, his room-brightening smile; Jude could honestly go on and on.  But more than anything, Jude was taken aback by the gleam in Connor’s eyes.  Connor was looking at him in a way that Jude could honestly say no one ever had before.

 

“God, um, j-just wow I mean, y-you look amazing,” Connor stuttered, taking Jude’s hand when he reached where Connor was leaning up against the wall, his crutches next to him, weaving their fingers together.  “I especially love your nails,” he added, looking at Jude’s hand as he grabbed it.

 

“T-thanks. Uh, you look really—well really h-hot,” Jude replied, feeling his face heat up as the words left his mouth.

 

“Honestly though, I don’t look anywhere near as hot as you,” Connor admitted, his words completely serious.

 

“S-shut up, I am not hotter than you,” Jude spluttered, his cheeks getting darker.

 

“Well you kind of are—”

 

“Oh would you two stop arguing over who’s hotter and just get going!” Mariana cried from the living room.

 

“Yeah, I guess we should probably leave,” Jude said.  “You ready?”

 

“Definitely,” Connor answered, placing a kiss on Jude’s cheek before dropping his hand and grabbing his crutches.

 

Jude headed for the car, but Connor stopped him, pointing instead to the car that was idling on the curb.

 

“We’re taking an Uber,” Connor explained.

 

“Why would we do that?  What do you have planned Connor?” Jude inquired.

 

“You’ll find out,” Connor smirked.

 

 

“Woah that was totally amazing!” Connor exclaimed as they left the theater after the show was over.  “I can see why you love it so much.”

 

Jude grinned; it was a pretty incredible show, not that Jude would’ve really known.  Jude would never admit this to anyone, but he really didn’t watch the show.  He simply couldn’t take his eyes off Connor. Jude knew what was happening, for the most part; he wanted to see how Connor would react.  And boy, he wasn’t disappointed; for example he learned that Connor probably had the cutest surprised face on the planet. Somehow he was going to have to hold onto that one and use it to his advantage later on.

 

“That was probably the best production of that show I’ve seen,” Jude replied, even though, as mentioned, he hadn’t really watched.

 

“Well, I’m glad I was able to get you here to see it then,” Connor smiled.

 

“I’m glad too, thank you Connor,” Jude said, giving him a kiss on the cheek as they walked into the restaurant.  They were seated, and their waiter gave them menus and Jude took one look before setting his back down.  “Wow Connor, this place is really expensive.  Do you think—”

 

Connor held up his hand, signaling for Jude to stop.  Connor took a few deep breaths, giving himself a minute to think before he responded.

 

“Jude, I want you to know how much I appreciate your concern,” Connor said slowly, his words carefully measured.  “But I want you to trust me to take care of it, okay?”

 

“Okay Connor I will,” Jude replied, letting out a sigh of relief. Crisis averted. “Please just don’t be afraid to talk to me about it or ask for help if you need it.”

 

“Yeah,” Connor answered, looking back his menu.

 

“Good evening gentlemen.  What can I get you two to drink?” the waiter asked when he came back a few minutes later.

 

“We’ll have a bottle of red wine.  Whatever you recommend.” Connor blurted out rapidly, handing two ID’s over to the waiter.  The waiter studied them for a moment before nodding curtly and taking off, Jude presumed to get the drink Connor asked for.

 

“You mind telling me what that was about?” Jude inquired, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared Connor down.

 

“Remember that we took an Uber here?  Well that’s why,” Connor disclosed.

 

“You want me to drink wine with you?” Jude questioned.

 

“Well I thought it might be fun.”

 

“You do remember what happened the last time you drank?”

 

Connor waggled his eyebrows.

 

“How could I forget?  That was my first time drinking anyway.”

 

“How come you have fake ID’s then if you haven’t drank before?”

 

“Just in case I want to,” Connor shrugged.  “And I want to now.”

 

Jude giggled.  _Oh why the hell not.  This could be a fun_ , he thought.  It was just one time; they wouldn’t get into too much trouble. And honestly, the idea of getting drunk and messily making out with Connor was quite appealing. So Jude decided to go along with it.

 

Two bottles of wine later, Jude felt light-headed and giggly. Once he got past the bitter taste, wine wasn’t too bad, and plus he liked the way it was making him feel.

 

“’S a good thing we didn’t drive,” Jude slurred, leaning up against Connor (he had moved to sit on the same side of the booth as Connor). Connor studied Jude for a moment, taking in his movements.  _Shit_ , Connor thought, _Jude had way too much to drink_.  At first he hadn’t thought anything of how many glasses Jude had (which, while he hadn’t counted, the number was clearly quite a few), but Jude was quite clearly a lightweight.

 

“Yeah,” Connor mumbled.  “Speaking of driving, we should probably get home now.”

 

“Okay,” Jude giggled, standing up and taking a few side steps before he steadied himself.  Connor slowly got on his crutches, feeling a little bit off balance himself. Connor was starting to regret this decision to use his fake ID’s for them to drink.  He honestly had no idea how they were going to get home, since they both could hardly stay upright.

 

Connor sighed; he was going to have to do something he really didn’t want to do. He got Jude seated on a bench outside the restaurant before pulling out his phone, pulling up a contact, taking a deep breath and pressing call.

 

“What’s up Connor?  Is everything alright?”

 

“Mariana, I think I made a bad decision.  You see um, Jude and I are both really drunk right now and I need you to come pick us up,” Connor garbled.

 

“Okay, just tell me where you are and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

“Thanks Mariana.”

 

“Who were you talking to?” Jude asked when Connor hung up.

 

“Uh, your sister,” Connor said hesitantly.

 

“Why’d you do that?” Jude replied, almost sounding panicked.

 

“You really think we can get back like this?” Connor countered.

 

“I—uh no probs not,” Jude giggled, lolling his head onto Connor’s shoulder.

 

“I think we can trust her, it’ll be fine,” Connor assured Jude, rubbing Jude’s shoulder as they waited for Mariana to pull up.  When she did, they managed to stumble into the car without too much trouble.

 

“I really owe you one,” Connor said, thanking Mariana again.

 

“Uh, I would wait on that one.  I couldn’t get out of the house without telling moms what I was doing,” Mariana explained.  “You’re both going to be dead when we get back.”  Connor glanced over at Jude, finding him fast asleep on his shoulder. Connor anxiously held his breath. Jude was in for quite the shock when they got home.

 

Connor and Mariana both worked to drag Jude into the house, settling him on the couch before Connor went in to face Jude’s moms.

 

“It’s all my fault, don’t blame Jude,” Connor blurted out as soon as he was sure his voice was within earshot.

 

“What matters tonight is that the two of you are okay,” Lena said calmly. “We’ll discuss both your consequences tomorrow, but for now you two should probably sleep it off.”

  
  
“Okay,” Connor mumbled, turning back towards the living room and crutching unsteadily over to the couch, collapsing on top of Jude.

  
  
“Hey there hot stuff,” Jude breathed out. Connor was a little shocked by Jude’s words. Okay, Jude was definitely way too drunk. But then again, Connor was also drunk so he answered:

  
  
“Hey handsome.”

 

Jude reached up, wrapping his hands around the back of Connor’s head and pulling him down into a messy kiss. Connor felt a little self-conscious, considering they were in the living room of the house, but this was okay as long as Jude didn’t—

  
  
Jude’s hips bucked up into him and Connor was hit by a sudden rush of heat. Connor quickly pulled away, rolling onto his side so that he wasn’t directly on top of Jude anymore. This was something the definitely could not do in the living room, whether Connor wanted to or not.

  
  
“We can’t do this here Jude!” Connor hissed harshly.

  
  
“But babe I—”

  
  
“Jude, we are in the living room of your moms’ house. You really want to have sex right here?”

  
  
“O-oh!” Jude stuttered. “I-I forgot where w-we were.”

  
  
“Uh-huh, that’s what I thought,” Connor whispered. “How about we just sleep?”

  
  
“T-that sounds good,” Jude replied, throwing his arms around Connor and burying his head into Connor’s chest. Connor was shocked. He couldn’t quite understand how Jude could go from horny to adorable in such a short period of time. Rather than try to understand it though, Connor decided to just roll with it. But he made sure to make a mental note that drunk Jude was forward and horny. He was going to save that information for later. Now, however, he just wrapped his arms around Jude and placed a gentle kiss on the top of Jude’s head before settling back and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, just so no one is expecting this, there will be no smut in part 7 even though I might have possibly been setting that up, it's not happening


	7. Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking around for this, to date, my longest fic :) Be prepared for extreme cheesiness in this, the last part! :D

_*4 Days Until New Years*_

Jude was gently shaken awake and promptly assaulted by a vicious throbbing behind his eyes. He lifted his head, light filtering in through his closed eyelids, and the throbbing got worse, so he immediately burrowed his head back into Connor’s chest.  His eyes now shielded from the light, the pain subsided slightly, until Connor spoke.

 

“Morning Jude,” he whispered as softly as he could manage.  But it was still too loud for Jude’s ears, and he clapped his hands over them. Connor chuckled softly.

 

“Stop it,” Jude whined. “Why does my head hurt so much?”

 

“It’s called a hangover Jude,” Connor explained, gently rubbing his boyfriend’s back.

 

“Ugh,” Jude mumbled into Connor’s shirt. “Make it stop.”

 

“Well your moms did happen to so graciously drop off some water and Advil for you earlier,” Connor stated, removing his arms from around Jude for a moment to grab the items in question. “Come on,” Connor encouraged, delicately raising Jude’s head up so that he could take the painkillers. Jude winced, opening his eyes and snatching the pills from Connor, tossing them in his mouth and taking a big gulp of water.  Now finished taking the Advil, Jude handed the glass back to Connor, quickly squeezing his eyes shut again and re-embedded his head into Connor.

 

“By the way, your moms found out,” Connor muttered quietly, setting the glass down and soothingly running a hand through Jude’s hair.

 

“Stop fucking with me Connor, it’s not funny,” Jude grumbled.

 

“I’m serious Jude,” Connor sighed. “I wouldn’t mess with you like that.”

 

Jude groaned; he was in too much pain to deal with being in trouble with his moms right now.  Connor seemed to be dealing fine though, which seemed odd to Jude.

 

“How come you’re not hungover?” Jude asked. They both drank last night; Connor should have it just as bad as him, right?

 

“You uh,” Connor giggled, “you were really enjoying yourself last night.  You had a bottle and a half of wine without any help from me.”

 

“Why didn’t you stop me then?” Jude whimpered.  He’d only been up for five minutes and yet this was totally unbearable.  Connor should’ve known so that he could’ve kept him from feeling like this.

 

“I told you last night, I had only had alcohol once before,” Connor said, defending himself.  “I didn’t know how much that really was.”

 

“I feel like death,” Jude complained. “I am never drinking again.”

 

“Well love, you wouldn’t be the first person I’ve heard say that,” Stef chortled.  Jude gripped Connor tighter, hoping that he might be able to melt into his skin and escape from the hammer that was about to fall on him. Stef noticed the action. “You’re not going to get out of doing this Jude.”

 

“I know, but can we at least do this at a time when I don’t feel like my head is going to explode?” Jude argued.

 

“You do realize how irresponsible it was, what you two did?” Stef inquired, ignoring Jude’s plea.

 

“It was my fault,” Connor quickly interjected.  Jude shook his head (as best he could with it still tightly pressed into Connor’s chest).

 

“You’re not taking all the blame here Connor,” Jude protested.  “I made the decision to drink all on my own.”

 

“Yeah, but I pressured you into making that choice,” Connor countered.

 

“Nice try Connor.  You may be my boyfriend, but you don’t have that kind of influence over me yet,” Jude explained.  “If I hadn’t wanted to drink, I wouldn’t have.”

 

“Ahem,” Stef cleared her throat, cutting them off.  “Now that we’ve established that you’re both to blame, that means you’re both going to have consequences. To start with, I’m going to need whatever fake IDs you used to get the alcohol in the first place. Then after that, you two are not to leave the house unsupervised until you leave for school after New Year’s, you’re both on dish duty for the rest of break, and you’re also in charge of cleaning the garage.  Got it?”

 

“Got it,” they both murmured.

 

“Okay then,” she said, patting Jude on the shoulder.  “Now you have thirty minutes to be up and get to work on the garage,” she added before padding out of the room.

 

“That could’ve been worse,” Connor commented, having fully accepted his punishment.

 

“Still could’ve been a lot better,” Jude disputed.

 

“We’ll still be spending all our time together,” Connor shrugged.  “How bad can it really be then?”

 

“I didn’t realize you were so cheesy Con, I mean jeez that was so cliché,” Jude teased, lifting his head to look Connor in the eye.

 

“Oh, I’m the cheesiest Jude, don’t you ever forget it,” Connor smirked, leaning forward and contorting body so that he could give Jude a peck on the lips.

 

“As much as I love this, we should probably get up,” Jude lamented when Connor pulled away.

 

“Don’t worry,” Connor said, waggling his eyebrows and grinning slyly.  “We’ll be in the garage alone all day.  There will be plenty more where that came from when we get out there.”

 

And with that, Jude was quickly rolling off of the couch, changing clothes and eating breakfast faster than Connor thought was humanly possible.  Connor was right behind him, albeit moving a little more slowly, given that he was on crutches.

 

 

A little while later, out in the garage, Stef quickly gave them instructions on what they should be doing before leaving them there.

 

“And I expect you two to actually get work done,” she warned sternly as she stood in the doorway.  “Don’t give me that innocent look love, I know how this works. So get going!”

 

“Ha, sure,” Jude giggled once she was out of earshot, guiding Connor to the dusty couch in the back corner of the garage and pushing him onto it and leaping on top of him, quickly connecting their lips.  Connor was surprised by just how forward Jude was.  He thought that what happened the night before was simply the result of alcohol shutting down his filter, but now Jude was stone-cold sober and acting just the same as last night.

 

But by no means was Connor complaining, kissing Jude back messily and passionately as he tangled his hands into Jude’s hair.

 

“Hey!  Boys!  What did I say?” Stef yelled, her head peeking in through the door.  Somewhere in the back of Connor’s mind, he heard Stef shouting at them, but his want and lust was starting to cloud his thoughts and his senses. Jude was all he could focus on: the feeling of his body lying on top of him, the sensation of his tongue exploring his mouth, the sense of Jude’s hands softly stroking anywhere and everywhere on his skin under his shirt.  It wasn’t until Stef marched over and physically pulled them apart that Connor really realized she was even there.

 

“Jeez guys!  Can we keep the hormones in control for a couple of hours?” Stef implored exasperatedly.

 

Connor grinned sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, while Jude stood next to his mom, frozen to the spot, red blossoming all over his cheeks, neck and ears.

 

“Clean!  Now!” Stef commanded, pointing to the multitude of boxes, precariously stacked against the walls of the garage.  Connor rose on his crutches, hobbling over and selecting a random box, settling down on the floor with it, ripping it open and rummaging through its contents.  Jude stayed rooted firmly to the ground, the blush not fading from his face.  Connor worked for a few minutes, but seeing Jude still unmoving, rose unsteadily to his feet and crutched up next to him.

 

“It wasn’t that bad Jude,” Connor assured him.  Jude jerkily turned his head, his body finally springing to life after being stiff for the last ten minutes.

 

“Not that bad?!” Jude cried. “My mom literally pulled me off you!”

 

“Well one time my dad caught me in the middle of doing—well, you know—with a girl,” Connor spluttered.

 

“Your dad caught you having sex with a girl?!” Jude exclaimed.

 

“Yep,” Connor replied, popping the “p” as he spoke.  “Compared to that, what just happened was no big deal.”

 

“Well yeah I suppose that would be much more awkward,” Jude chortled.  “But wait, but you’re gay.  Why were you having sex with a girl?” he added.

 

“I wasn’t out back then, remember?” Connor reminded him.  “And I was under a lot of pressure from my dad and my teammates and my friends. So I fucked around with girls even though I didn’t want to, just to shut everyone up.”

 

“That—that sounds awful,” Jude said quietly. “I-I’m so sorry I—I shouldn’t have asked that.”

 

“No Jude, it’s okay,” Connor reassured. “I kind of want to tell you my story anyway.  I mean you’re right, it was awful; my life from middle school up until college was hell Jude,” Connor continued, collapsing on the couch, his eyes beginning to glisten. Jude sat next to him, taking his hand and weaving their fingers together.  “I’ve known I was gay since I was twelve, and I had to spend more than six years pretending to be someone I hated being.  I remember very clearly the day my dad looked me right in the eye and said that I wasn’t ever to be a—well you know.  So I had to hide.  There was nowhere I could be myself; not in my room, not on the internet, not anywhere. I was always constantly in fear that I was going to get outed, even though I never told anyone. I was alone and terrified. There were a few stretches of weeks and even months that I don’t know how I got through; I was so anxious and at times I was even a little depressed.  I guess the only reason I made it was because I just kept clinging to the hope that college would be different; that college was something worth sticking around for.”

 

“I’m so sorry Con,” Jude whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Connor’s temple.

 

“Why?” Connor shrugged. “It’s not like any of that can be changed now.  I made it, didn’t I? And I was right; college was everything I had wished that it would be, largely because of you.”

 

“M-me?” Jude stammered, shocked at the admission.  Jude and Connor didn’t even have a proper conversation until a few weeks into the semester. How could he have done anything like that for Connor?

 

“Yeah.  When you walked into the room with your moms, it was like a huge weight got lifted off my shoulders.  I knew that, at least in the confines of our room, I could be myself because you weren’t going to give two shits that I was gay because you had two moms,” Connor explained. “And it took a little time, but I learned how to stop hiding in our room, and then I stopped hiding everywhere else, and I got to be the person I wanted to be.  I’ve been happier these last four months or so than I ever was the previous six years.”

 

“And things were great for a while, until you came out to your dad,” Jude sighed.

 

“It’s true I had a rough couple of days because of that.  But it brought us together, didn’t it?  It couldn’t be all that bad then.”

 

“I guess that was a pretty good thing that came out of it,” Jude giggled, squeezing Connor’s hand.

 

“Why am I still not seeing work getting done?” Stef shouted, having ventured in the garage to check on them, yet again.

 

“We are having an important conversation!” Jude shot back.

 

“No, it’s fine Jude, I’m done with my story anyway,” Connor interjected.  “Let’s get to work.”

 

“Might I remind both of you that you are being punished,” Stef said gravely.  “This is not supposed to be fun.”

 

“Well it’s always fun when I’m hanging out with Jude,” Connor responded, earning a chuckle from Stef.

 

“Whether you’re having fun or not, this place still needs to get clean, so remember that,” she replied, before heading back into the house, this time for good.

 

“’It’s always fun when I’m hanging out with Jude’,” Jude imitated.  “You’re such a big sap!”

 

“I can’t help it with you,” Connor crooned.

 

“You’re so sweet it makes me sick,” Jude teased.  “But honestly, don’t ever stop.”

 

“Oh I don’t plan to,” Connor answered, chastely capturing Jude’s lips in a kiss.

 

 

_*New Year’s Eve*_

It took them the better part of three days to finish cleaning the garage.  Between the almost innumerable boxes, and the constant distraction they posed to each other, tidying up was taking longer than one might have thought it would. And that’s not even mentioning the nostalgia factor, when it came to Jude opening up boxes of his old things.

**For example:**

 

“How do you have so many striped shirts?” Connor commented as he opened up yet another box of Jude’s old clothes.

 

“I dunno,” Jude shrugged. “I guess that’s just what I used to like wearing.”

 

“Well thank God you branched out a little,” Connor needled.  “A few striped shirts isn’t bad, but wearing one every day?  That would just be ridiculous.”

 

“Spoken by the one that wears striped tank tops at every opportunity!” Jude countered.

 

“I uh—well you got me there,” Connor giggled.

 

“But—but you always look so,” Jude said shyly, pausing for a moment, his cheeks beginning to darken, “so hot in them. So I guess I don’t mind.”

 

“You like checking out my muscles don’t you Jude?” Connor smirked, but also a little surprised.  It’s like forward, sexual Jude he’d been seeing for the last few days disappeared and was replaced by sweet, innocent Jude. Honestly the fact that Jude could pull off both was a huge turn on for Connor.

 

“W-well I’d be lying if I said no,” Jude stammered. “I-it’s nice having a really a-attractive boyfriend.  Not that you would know the feeling.”

 

Connor’s jaw dropped in shock at Jude’s words.  He couldn’t believe that Jude would even think that for a second.  Jude was just—well Connor couldn’t think of a word or phrase that accurately described Jude, but a breathless “wow” was the only thing that came pretty close.  Every morning that he woke up in Jude’s arms, or with Jude in his arms, Connor was pinching himself, still not entirely sure how someone as unbelievable attractive as Jude liked him.

 

“Babe,” Connor said softly, scooting over on the floor next to Jude and taking him into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.  “Trust me, I do know the feeling.”

 

“Shut up,” Jude muttered. Jude would never say that he was unattractive; but he probably wouldn’t say he was attractive either. Jude was pretty sure he was just somewhere in the middle.  There was no way his looks could ever compare to Connor’s.

 

“Jude, babe,” Connor cooed. “I’ve been on this earth 19 years, and I can 100% honestly say that I’ve never met or seen another boy more drop-dead gorgeous than you.”

 

“You’re just saying that ‘cause I’m your boyfriend,” Jude protested weakly.

 

“Please Jude,” Connor said. “Look at this face. Does this look like a face that would lie to you?”  Jude turned around and studied Connor’s expression for a moment.  Jude liked to think that he was good at reading people, and right now all he could read from Connor was complete honestly and genuineness.

 

“No,” Jude muttered, his already warm cheeks feeling warmer.  Connor leaned in and kissed him softly.

 

“Now come on hottie, we need to get back to work.”

 

“Oh no, you don’t get to call me hottie and then just crawl away,” Jude growled.  “Get back over here.”  


Connor turned around, happily obliging, crawling back to Jude, who promptly tackled him to the floor, sliding his tongue into Connor’s mouth and his hands under Connor’s shirt.

 

**Or:**

 

“Hey Jude, what’s this?” Connor asked, holding up a rather large blue-covered book with Jude’s name plastered on the front in big letter stickers.

 

“It’s a scrapbook,” Jude explained. “My middle/high school best friend, Justin, made it for me as a graduation present.”

 

“Ooh!  A chance to see fetus Jude!” Connor exclaimed, excitedly opening the front cover.

 

“Connorrrrrrrrr!” Jude whined, swiping at the book, trying to take it from Connor.

 

“Come on Jude, just lemme see,” Connor pleaded.

 

“Fine,” Jude huffed, squeezing his eyes shut as Connor flipped through the book.  He didn’t want to see how Connor was reacting to the old pictures of him. It was silent for a long time, not even a snicker coming from Connor, so Jude opened his eyes, finding Connor staring at a picture only two pages in.  Jude tilted his head, crawling over to see what Connor was looking at. It was the picture taken with his family in the courtroom on his adoption day.

 

“You look so happy here,” Connor said with a small smile.

 

“Well this was the day I officially became part of the Adams-Foster family,” Jude described, beaming at the memory. “It was the day, that after so many years of, well I don’t know, searching I guess, I finally found the place that was my home, a place that I couldn’t ever be taken from.”

 

“Taken from?” Connor questioned, quirking his eyebrows up curiously.

 

“I was a foster kid before I was here, remember?” Jude said, taking a deep breath.  “Over six years, I was in seven homes, all of which were temporary. I was always living in fear of when I was going to be taken out of them, for whatever reason it happened to be that time.  And I don’t want to go into a lot of detail, but the homes were rarely very good places. I was verbally abused, starved and—” Jude stopped, choking on his words.

 

“Jude,” Connor whispered, guiding Jude’s head onto his shoulder and snaking his arms around him comfortingly.

 

“Stef and Lena were the first people to really love me—us since our parents got taken away from us,” Jude whimpered. “I can’t even describe the feeling of relief I had when the judge signed the papers, because getting adopted meant I was here to stay.”

 

“That’s—I mean it’s great you found a family like this, but I—I wish you never had to go through any of that other stuff,” Connor sighed.  Jude was the kindest, sweetest boy he’d ever met.  Nobody deserved to go through any of that, especially not Jude.  Connor just wanted to do everything he could to save him from pain and heartbreak.  If he could go back in time, and change Jude’s past, he would in a millisecond, even if it meant he would’ve never met Jude.

 

“I don’t,” Jude sniffled, as Connor shivered at the last thought.  “Sure it sucked, but the way things are now made it all worth it.  It led me to this family, it led me to all the opportunities I’ve had—it led me to you.”

 

“I would give up meeting you if it meant that you didn’t have to go through any of that,” Connor murmured.

 

“Never.  I wouldn’t trade you for anything,” Jude replied.

 

“Jude, stop it, you’re gonna make me cry!” Connor gasped.

 

“Aww, you big softie.”

 

“Oh shush!”

 

 

Now they were sitting in the living room of the Adams-Foster house, waiting for the midnight ball drop, and Jude kept thinking about the break, and all the moments they had together: talking about almost nothing at all, cuddling on the couch, telling each other their life stories. Kissing.  Constantly falling on each other.  Constantly falling in love with each other.  Yeah, over this break Jude fell in love.  He knew it since that moment in the garage.  Everything that had happened in his life led him somewhere.  And his moment of compassion for a boy he barely knew led him to love. Thirteen days. That was all it took. Jude fell in love, and he already couldn’t imagine spending another second of his life without the dirty blond haired boy next to him.

 

Connor Stevens was desperately and hopelessly in love with Jude Adams-Foster.  And Connor knew that was the way it was meant to be all along. From the day he decided to come out to his dad, the universe had been working (overtime) to bring them together. Connor used to scoff at the people in the movies.  Falling in love in only a matter of a few days was improbable.  There shouldn’t be a way to know if two people were made for each other in such a short amount of time.  “We could just tell,” they would say, and Connor would say “Yeah right,” and roll his eyes. But Connor wasn’t rolling his eyes anymore.

 

As the countdown to midnight hit 30 seconds, Connor turned and examined the tall, wiry boy, curled up into a ball next to him, with his arms around him.  Connor had a smile on his lips, a sparkle in his eye and a warmth spreading to his body from his heart.  Now he knew what those people in the movies meant.  Because with Jude, he just knew.

 

The countdown reached 10 seconds, and Jude adjusted his body so that his head was level with Connor’s, the two gazing into each other’s eyes.

 

Five seconds, and they started leaning in.

 

Three, two, one…

 

The roar of the crowd erupted from the TV speakers, but Jude and Connor didn’t hear a thing, completely lost in each other the second their lips touched.  It was as if they were standing on center stage of a theater, all the lights off, with only a spotlight to illuminate them, standing all alone, the only things visible on the stage because in that scene, they were all that mattered. Because right now, in this scene, taking place in the real world, that’s how it felt. They were really all that mattered to each other.  Jude took a deep breath, uttering the words he had yet to say to Connor, those special three words he’d been saving for his first words of the New Year.

 

“I love you.”

 

Jude didn’t get the spoken reply he was expecting, but rather the arms around him tightened their grip, and Connor placed his lips on his again, kissing him softly, yet passionately. Jude didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but when Connor pulled away, he rested his forehead on Jude’s and simply replied:

 

“I love you too.”

 

And both their hearts felt like they were about to burst.  So they kissed. Again, and again, and again, until their lips were sore and their mouths were tired and their lungs burned, every kiss filled with all the love and passion they could manage. And after that, they fell asleep on the couch, bodies tightly pressed together, arms firmly wrapped around each other, legs tangled up, faces so close that their breaths mingled together and their noses brushed up against each other.

 

That night, Jude dreamed that he and Connor were simply wandering down a beach together, hands loosely intertwined, the two of them gazing on the reflection of the moon and stars upon the gentle waves lapping ashore.  It was quiet, peaceful, and almost completely indistinguishable from reality, if not for the moment when Connor dropped to one knee.  Jude awoke as dream Connor was slipping the ring on his hand, carefully opening his eyes to survey Connor looked to be slumbering tranquilly. Jude smiled at the memory of the dream.

 

“Someday,” he whispered. At nineteen, Jude wasn’t even remotely ready for marriage, but there was no doubt in his mind who he would be marrying someday.  Jude sighed contentedly; it was crazy how much had changed in two weeks.  Two weeks ago when he and Connor had left campus, they were strangers who hardly knew each other.  Six days ago, they were still merely best friends.  Four days ago they went on their first date. A few hours ago they told each other they loved each other for the first time.  And in a few short days, they’d be returning to campus as boyfriends, living together, just the two of them for the first time.

 

Jude would’ve thought he’d been scared of moving forward so fast in a relationship.  Two weeks ago, Jude couldn’t have even imagined himself being in a relationship, possibly ever.  Then Connor Stevens hit him like a flash of lightning, and everything fell into place. So he wasn’t scared; everything felt just exactly right.

 

“I love you so much Connor Stevens,” Jude mumbled, closing his eyes and almost immediately drifting back to sleep.

 

As he spoke, Connor opened his eyes, having heard Jude sleep-talking.  Connor hadn’t been sure what he was hearing, but the phrase “of course I’ll marry you Connor” was pretty unmistakable.  And when he heard Jude whisper “someday,” Connor had to keep from giggling. He had no doubt he wanted to marry Jude someday too.  Maybe that was too far into the future to be thinking about now, but it was on Connor’s mind, and had been for a few days.

 

“I love you too Jude,” Connor breathed out, gently kissing Jude.  “Someday babe. Someday,” he said to Jude, but soft enough that Jude couldn’t hear.

 

 

_*A Few Days Later*_

Connor stood on the porch of the Adams-Foster house as Jude carried their stuff out to his car.

 

“Connor,” Lena said, sounding very serious. Connor braced himself for the ‘if-you-hurt-my-kid-I’ll-hurt-you” talk, that in retrospect, he expected to have received days ago, not when they were just about to return to school. “If there’s anything you need, anything at all, please don’t _ever_ be afraid to call us.  You’re—you’re our son now too, so we’ll always be there if you need us.”

 

“Thanks mama,” Connor said quietly. He would’ve expected the word to feel strange coming out of his mouth for the first time, but it felt completely natural, like he’d been saying it his whole life.  But Stef and Lena had felt more like his parents than his mom or dad ever did.

 

“You ready to go Con?” Jude asked, hopping up onto the porch next to Connor.

 

“You bet babe,” Connor grinned.

 

“Oh Connor, one more thing before you go,” Stef interjected, leaning over and whispering something into Connor’s ear. Jude watched as Connor’s face went white.

 

“Mom, can you not threaten him, please?” Jude groaned.

 

“Just doing my job,” Stef shrugged, softly patting Connor on the shoulder before backing away so she could address them both. “Now you two behave yourselves _and_ be safe.”

 

“Mooooooommmmm!” Jude whined, while Connor turned to smirk at him.  Connor couldn’t hide that he was looking forward to when they were going to get back to their dorm room together.  Because then they would be alone, unlike the whole of the last two and half weeks.

 

Lena said a few things to them, and the four exchanged hugs (the rest of the Adams-Foster clan had left the day before).

 

“See you soon!  Love you both!” she exclaimed as they made their way to the car.

 

“Love you moms!” they both shouted back in unison.

 

“So I guess I have another sibling to share my moms with,” Jude kidded when they were on the road.

 

“Oh, so I’m just your sibling? Well you can forget what I had planned for when we get back to the room then, I’m not doing that with my brother,” Connor retorted.

 

“Aww Con, don’t be like that,” Jude implored. “You know I’m just kidding.”

 

“Yeah I know,” Connor giggled. “They’re my moms too, just in a different way,” Connor added, the unspoken words “in-law” hanging in the air.

 

“So anyway, what do you have planned?” Jude inquired.

 

“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” Connor replied, giving Jude a crooked grin.

 

They rode in silence for a little while, before Jude piped up.

 

“Hey Con, what do you want to do at school?”

 

“I thought I said I wasn’t going to—”

 

“No, not that, I’m talking about earlier when you told me that you weren’t quite ready to come out to other people. I don’t want to just start, you know, holding your hand and kissing you on campus if you aren’t ready,” Jude explained.

 

“Oh Jude,” Connor chortled, taking Jude’s hand that was resting on the center console and weaving their fingers together, still just as awestruck as the first time at how perfectly Jude’s hand molded into his.  “I’m not going to hide anymore, not when I have you by my side.  I mean gosh, I just want to scream to the whole world that you’re my boyfriend honestly.  And besides, the school has to have _some_ way of knowing that its most beautiful boy is already taken.”

 

“Oh my God, Connor stop,” Jude grinned.

 

“Never,” Connor countered, quickly giving Jude a peck on the cheek.

 

 

**_Epilogue_ **

Today was the day that exactly one year ago, Connor had come out to his dad.  A year ago, the wheels were set in motion that brought him to Jude. Exactly one year ago Connor gained the family he never really had.  As he and Jude stood in the living room of their apartment, ready to leave for another Christmas togther at the Adams-Foster’s, Connor couldn’t help but smile, thinking about how lucky he was.  Last year had given him a Christmas to remember, and this year, Connor was determined that Jude would be getting one of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming in December...the as-of-yet to be named sequel to A Christmas to Remember


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